Thursday, May 31, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
When people feel comfortable enough after finding out you're a war vet. the one question they always ask is,"Were you scared?" The first mission or two- yes. You have been bombarded with information. You're waiting to leave the base. There are 3 trucks behind you with 11 of your friends, maybe a dog and his handler and an interpreter. You're leading the way. A convoy comes in dragging blown up vehicles or a patrol comes flying past with one or more vehicles full of bullet holes, shattered windshields, shredded tires smoking.
They've called ahead for gate clearance to get their wounded to the hospital. Gunners look down at you vacantly as they blow by you.
Initially you're told to wait- the mission may be cancelled due to the activity beyond the wire. Then a FRAGO comes down telling you to be ready to go clear the route of what caused all the violence to the inbound convoy or patrol in the first place.
You butt starts ripping at the seat. Your mouth goes dry and your stomach knots up. You glance over at your driver and his eyes are rolling in fear.
Then you get a grip. Your inner voice says,"You better get a hold of yourself- or you will get killed. I'm sick of you- straighten up. Things are out of your control. It's going to be alright. One step at a time."
You look over at your driver and as cheerfully and boldly as you can say,"Hey man- you good? You locked and loaded? Yeah sarge, I'm good. Weapon on safe? Yeah, uh- no sarge." he says as he clicks the selector over to safe.
You're doing your job- one step at a time.
Take a deep breath and key up the mike and say," Cobra elements this Cobra 32- status over."One by one you hear the voices of your friends, your brothers saying,"This is Cobra 33 ready to move- out. Cobra 34 ready to roll..."
As the truck gathers momentum you relax. The HUMVEE has a familiar whine and the auto transmision has a hard bang to it when it shifts. The whir of the turret as your gunner moves the .50 cal. around is also reassurring. You're on an internal radio and talking to base on another and having the gunner check out suspicious stuff. "Hey man, stay away from that trash pile." you yell to the driver, "It might be explodey- besides it's on my side!" you tell him laughing.
You think then to yourself, I could get used to this.
Monday, May 14, 2012
- According to Buzz Feed this is the worst album cover of all time. I bet he rocked.
- Uriah Heep Easy Livin.
- An old church friend's ex wife has married the guy she was was having an adulterous relationship with. She and new hubby have moved and continue to go to church together. It's their lives to live, but I think they may have missed the point. Regardless- if they'll cheat with you- they'll cheat on you.
- Recently I recommended an over the counter allergy remedy to a refugee patient who was absolutely suffering from seasonal allergies. He came back a few weeks later and bowing deeply with his hands clasped together bestowed blessings upon me in his mother tongue. It was then I became their chief. They called me, Ninna wantie bucco chopa winah sinta kant which means, He who teaches about life while healing and teaching about healing things of life and stuff...
- I hurt my nursing buddy recently with one of my attempts at a humorous retort. It felt awful. I mistook her strength for toughness.
- I won't even say what it was I said, but yeah- it was pretty funny.
- One day before I die I will stand out in public somewhere and wearing a t shirt that says LIFE in big, bold letters I'll hand out lemons to everyone that walks by.
- Have a great day.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.