Monday's Missives

• There was a rock in the pocket of my oldest sons new cargo shorts.



• It is like volcanic pumice but, light brown with glittery crystals in it, very light (I bet it would float) and about the size of a peach pit. He and my daughter brought it to me to check out after he found it. I looked at, hefted it to get the feel for its weight and smelled it.



• Then I licked it for taste.



• Ewwwww DAD!
• I met a 72 year old man recently who told me,"The secret to success is vegetarianism. I've been a vegetarian for 50 years." He told me that about 30 minutes after seeing him eat the most epic, ginormous, delicious looking cheeseburger I've ever seen in my life.



• My neighbor is always spraying or spreading something on his lawn. When it heats up after a cool morning it can smell chemical-ie even.



• I lightly weed and feed mine in spring and sometimes late summer/fall, water it- that's it and it looks a lot better than his.
• I've yet to read anything comparing what the Taliban spends in Afghanistan and AQI spends in Iraq versus what the US spends as a percentage of what each has available.



• Well- probably a nonsense question, we all just print more bills.



• The commercial for the Jack In The Box Mini Sirloin Burgers is epic. "Herding cows the size of schnauzers" Ha, funny.


• I have never eaten at White Castle.



• I've used the word "epic" twice in this post.

Monday's Missives

• When my baby son saw some of the skin peeling from my sunburn on my leg last summer and pulled it off it sounded like packing tape being stripped back. Then he tried to shake it off as it stuck to his finger. The big kids said," Ewwww, dad- that's gross!"



• A girl wrote on here and said she saw my,"Ta-Tas."



• I can honestly- say no one has ever said that about me before.



• Made me laugh- so funny.



• Lot of miles from that miserable episode of my life.



• I've mentioned this before but, the above pic made me think of an odd, random thing I heard from two different friends in two different states that still trips me out when it crosses my mind- they each thought I'd marry a dancer (not the pole type). Still can't wait to see what goes through my mind when I meet someone and they say,"Oh, I'm a ballerina..."



• A flashback: when I came home for leave from Iraq I brought everything back with me they wouldn't let me mail and I wouldn't need for the rest of the tour to save me from carrying back so much at the end of the tour and I also intended to leave a bunch at home for the return to Iraq from leave. As many of my plans go, this one went awry with the realization a whole bunch of children's clothes were going to Goodwill and there were a whole bunch of poor kids near my base without decent clothing. Needless to say I humped more stuff back to Iraq than I brought over. Way more. When I handed the clothes out two things really stick in my memory still- one was when I pulled out a pair of girls patent leather dress shoes still stuck together by the little stretch cord and two girls ripping them apart and staring at their reflections in the shoe they each had walking away ignoring my efforts to get them together to one child- they would fit. And another- I didn't see any of the other clothes for months until we patrolled that area in about 50 degree temperature when I saw a 2-3 year old boy wearing a pair of my daughters flowery embroidered jeans that were high watered on him and nothing else.



• Still makes me want to cry.



• I almost stayed home a few extra days for leave and even told people that was my intention. I mean really what were they going to do? Send me to a war? Prison? Stamp my meal card, No Dessert (my favorite response).



• In the end I wanted to get back to (and for) my soldiers so bad I would have left days early to return if the opportunity presented.


• You may have read about the soldiers and contractors being electrocuted by KBR electrical work in Iraq- I knew one of them.

Burning Man Festival- Texas Edition

My imbecility knows no bounds I'm occasionally reminded. I work nights so I rarely see daylight in general much less with time to get enough sun to tan so the other day when it was bright enough (although cloudy) and I felt well rested enough I decided to sit in the backyard and catch some rays. Being the genius I am I put some Skin So Soft on me to protect my delicate skin.


Well, I must have slept through whatever science class (refraction?) that would have taught me what a cloudy (but, bright) and cool day can do with the combination of oil on fair skin.


After about 30 min. I was impressed thinking I was noticeably darker. I went in after only 40 min. and was alarmed to see darker was actually redder when out of the suns glare.


I had to work that first night shivering with a severe headache, nauseated and with a temp. over 100 degrees- essentially radiation poisoning.


Presently, skin is falling off my upper body, head and nose in patches large enough for skin graft donation if in fact- I wasn't a burn victim myself.


Believe me, it isn't easy being retarded.