Monday's Missives

• Before they started making this I always thought it would be way cool to make an AR15 style 12 gauge.
• When I'm king of the world I will still commission an M2 style machine gun that everything will be dimensionally doubled. Yes, we will have a 100 caliber cannon to blast stuff with at 500 rounds per minute. People will pay to stand in it's shadow- much less shoot the monster. Long after I'm gone gun writers will write about it and awe will be generated as it gets traded around by rich guys and rediscovered through the years.

  

  Not to make too big of a deal as I could be wrong (and it is only an opinion anyway) but if I'm going out to eat I'm tempted to say I don't want my food to be home style as in if I wanted home style- well, I would stay at home. 

  
  
• It is 01/312015 at 0704. My son is asleep on the floor and daughter on the couch. The house is dark and quiet.
• Nearly heaven.

  

  Sunshine Lake

• Somebody I know only gets in touch with me to relate various aches, pains and new diagnosis. What a whippin'.

  

  FGs granddad was a railroad worker

  
  

  

  Coolest nickname ever? Gah- lucky. I wish I was called WISH BONE.

• My eldest son is on his way back to Nigeria in search of black gold.

  

  Thankfully PUPPY is microchiped. 

  
  

  

  The dog park has real fire hydrants for dogs to pee on. No wonder the terrorists hate us.

  
  
  
  
• In the break room yesterday people were commenting on how wonderful my Chinese food smelled. When another person entered the fray they asked somebody who is not me if it was their food. The party who was asked cheerily said as she happened to be stepping out of the room, No, mine smells like fish! Me and another vile reprobate looked at each other and burst out laughing. I handed him my chop stick and said, Holy smokes. I can't unhear that. Quick stab me in the ear with this!

  

  Behind the Nature center in Lake Murray State Park

  
  
  
  
  

  

  What a gorgeous scene this rocky ridge line would be without the stupid trees obscuring the view but good luck on getting them cut down. We worship trees- odd. They should selectively cut most of them down and dig all the roots out so they don't create erosion pathways. Then tack everything down with some water after scattering some native seed and fertilizer and call the feature, Rocky Ridge. People would come from far and wide to see it. It would be literally awe inspiring. I have everything all figured out don't I? 

• The wind chimes are singing sweetly outside.

  

  Mini Me: See the picture I drew? Me: Uh, oh yeah that is, um- nice. So, uh what all is going on here? What am I seeing? Is there a story? I said as I fished for an answer about the bewbs. Mini Me: Its just a picture. He said as if he were trying to gently, simply and patiently deal with a closed head injury patient who just didn't get it. Me: OK, what are these? I said giving up and pointing to the headlights Mini Me: They're nipples dad. He is a Sumo Wrestler

• One of these days this will all end.

Friday's Dispatch

View out your window of the cabins at Lake Murray. Ha, I got you- it is a painting silly.

• Lena Dunham is pervasive and even refers to herself as a celebrity. I do not know who, what or why she is- and I'm OK with that.
• The Treaty Of Tripoli is a fascinating document and I'm surprised it doesn't cause more of a stir.

  

  Mastodon tusk

  
  

  

  Cylindrical shaped fossils are the stems of an ancient relative of lilies.

• It was 16 degrees this (01/08/2015) morning. My son left his coat at school. That was one long, cold drive until the truck warmed and walk to class for him I bet.
• There were signs on the road last night, " Road crews preparing for winter conditions- expect delays." In the past the state and local governments got caught with their pants down when they should have known conditions would be bad and prepared accordingly. Now, they go on a freakout and prepare for an Iceocalypse whenever a cool breeze blows. There wasn't any precipitation in the overnight forecast. It wasn't going to happen- not a chance was there going to be icy conditions on the roads.
• Next year conditions will be right and there will absolutely be weather coming that needs preparation for a massive response and officials will shrug and say, Last year we had roads prepped and materials stockpiled and paid workers overtime to be on standby- for nothing. Meh.
• What is wrong with us?

  

  This

  
  

  

  is covered with this. Stupid.

• Women: one of the few things I know about them is if you don't want to argue with them when they want to fight- they assume they've won and you knew you were wrong all along.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  My ginger daughter is a natural at skateboarding.

• The number of Bill Cosby's accusers stand at something like 30-31 now. The sheer number, the perceived credibility of most, the number who have something to lose- by making the allegations, the variation in backgrounds and strata of the accusers and the fact I haven't heard a dollar figure that any of them want make me think- he is guilty as sin.
• A bonus: his holier than thou attitude always seemed at best disingenuous to me especially as it has long been known he was not faithful to his wife. Another thing about this issue- I looked the rape subject up a minute ago for the first time. Otherwise, I have only relied on random newscasts and reading one or two blurbs by the accusers so I am not overly saturated on the subject making me think he seems guiltier than he is.
• Once I saw in print the question asked, "What did he use to drug them?" to which no good answer was provided. I'll make a wild guess- either chloral hydrate or dilaudid or even a combination of the two. The combo would seem plausible as accusers report the effects were both quick acting and long lasting. They both come in liquid form and chloral hydrate at least in the past was surprisingly readily available.

  

  In this droughty apocalypse in which we live these cleats are almost comically sad as a boat couldn't get within a hundred feet of the dock.

  
  

  

  Drag marks where guys have drug their boats down to the water.

  
  

  

  Animals have (probably) died of thirst making the trek down to the new shore of Lake Murray.

Thursday's Thoughts

• This is really big- big news; a first folio of Shakespeare's works has been discovered in France. On the same page was a link to a story about some controversy related to Dancing With The Stars. I accidentally clicked on it. I still feel kinda dirty.
• Someday you should watch Existo. I'm not saying you'll be a better person for it or even like it- just everybody ought to give it a try.
  
  
  
  
  

  

  A bad day.

  
  
• Legalization of pot is one of those things that will happen so we need to accept it and wrap out heads around it. The way people in general and our government view the subject shows a lack of critical thinking skills and pragmatism. The first thing it is compared to is heroin or meth as people fear the use of weed will lead to the use of harder stuff. It doesn't now and will be even less likely when it is legal. A better comparison is alcohol as alcohol is extremely dangerous- literally deadly and it is not only legal, its use and acceptance is practically a religious conviction here, 
• No, I don't smoke it and don't know where I could get it but it is literally ridiculous that it is illegal where I live. Anyway, think about it- 40 year long drug war and and over 2 million pounds of marijuana are seized every year?! Ha! Kev that shows you don't know what you're talking about: 2 million pounds are seized! Easy there tiger. It is probably more than that now- and as I said earlier I wouldn't know where to start looking if I wanted the stuff but I would bet my life If I looked, I could have all I wanted before the sun went down this evening.

  

  Murica!

  
  

  

  I am not sure what kind of gifts are in the offing here but people stagger in and out of there all day (but mostly after dark).

  
  

  

  Crackheads be rollin'.

• It is very rare I dream about my dad but I had a very sentimental one this morning (11/26/2014). He was visiting me as I was working on a project to build a lake. There were scrapers motoring around and I was pushing both the dirt and labor crews. He was somehow old but at the same time looked about like he did when he died. He was asking me about the project. He seemed proud. It was nice.
• I know where some of that came from- when I was a boy we drove by one of the quarry near Chico. Two guys were racing scrapers down a haul road like a couple of maniacs. It came out in a related conversation that my dad had been an equipment operator in another life. I determined right then that is what I would do and as an adult operated various equipment for many years.

  

  I was aware Can Tex made pipe but this ceramic one crossing Town creek is the first I have ever seen  in use.

• Being affected by seasonal allergies is sucky and I'm sorry to anyone I may have been less than sympathetic to years ago who was suffering in my presence. If you read between the lines you may gather I was never bothered by allergies until my early 40s and then they came on with a vengeance and get worse every year. At this rate I'll be one big snot bubble by the time I'm 60.
• If money were no object I would have a Dodge Challenger built up to look like Snot Rod from Cars.
• Thanks for tuning in to Snot Talk With Kev.

  

  Some moron went to a lot of trouble to dump this couch out in the middle of nowhere and risked a big ticket. It never occurred to them to spend 10 minutes breaking it down and bagging it up and having the garbage truck come to them- some people are just naturally wrong.

Monday's Missives

The ubiquitous purple Texas sunset through the net fence pic trick.

• I did not know until this (02/05/2015) morning that when Aubrey Hawkins was called out to where the escaped convicts from Texas Department Of Corrections would eventually kill him he was having dinner with his son at the time. I was reminded of Hawkin's murder as Texas killed one of the guys responsible yesterday evening. Here are his last words, " I would. That each new indignity defeats only the body. Pampering the spirit with obscure merit. I love you all. That's it."
• That is sure to make the list of  stupidest famous last words.



Before the choir came out for Handel's Messiah at the WC 2014



I may have shown you this before but can you get too much Richard Nixon pummeling a saber tooth cat with brass knuckles?

• Sir Mix Alot Posse On Broadway- what I'm listening to.
• There is a personal beliefs exemption in some states to allow parents to withhold vaccines from their children. Vaccines are like a lot of things that are in place for safety and health- everybody has to do them all the time or the machine falls apart and it won't work. Anyway, maybe the worst thing about that exemption idea is it allows dumb people to basically dictate policy and public health. A lot of people will see that exemption to mean there really is a huge danger to vaccines and likewise if there is an exemption it must be OK to to take advantage of said exemption as the gubmint itself says it is- OK.

  

  I swear-  they're just making up words to name cars theses days.

• Recruits to ISIS have left the group (when they don't get their heads chopped off in the process) reporting if they're males being treated poorly and fed inadequately. Females who have left report being serially raped. Um, I don't mean to add insult to injury but- you're surprised a group of sociopath, homicidal maniacs would be mean and rude to you?

  

  Photogenic lady fishing at Holland Lake

• Weird: at work we are supposed to double envelope any medical record information we send to a patient and stamp CONFIDENTIAL in red on the exterior of the outside envelope thus increasing the risk the information could be compromised when that bulk of envelopes goes through a reader machine at the post office and gets ripped open. Furthermore, if you want to keep something under wraps, you probably do not want to drawn attention to it with the very provocative word, confidential in all caps and red ink.
• The more you over-think an otherwise simple situation- the more likely you are to come to the wrong conclusion.



There is nothing like a nice fire- amiright?

• Recently, Jordan strung up a couple of Iraqi jihadis in retribution for ISISs murder of a Jordanian F16 pilot. One of the people they hung was a woman. As I said earlier I don't mean to add insult to injury but the first time I saw a picture of her it was alongside one of the pilot. It was more/less a thumbnail and I thought her face was President Obama's Photoshopped onto a pic of a woman wearing a hijab and took it to be a statement of how the fate of the pilot was entwined with or dependent on President Obama somehow. Later I saw a larger image of the same picture and at a glance thought it was Fred Armisen. I mean- Woof!

  

  Murica!

• I heard day before yesterday from one of sources in the nursing underworld that one of my favorite instructors from my nursing school days has died. He went in for a procedure on his heart and coded as it was being performed and then expired. We bumped into each other a few years ago. He didn't look so great then. His face was slightly puffy and he was pale. Sad, he was a nice, smart and very funny guy.

Wednesday's Digressions

Yes! I don't know what we're voting for but you gotta admire the simplicity.

• Yesterday (01/09/2015) as I turned from Berry down to 35 to head North I saw a cel phone fly off a ___________ truck and land on the road. I couldn't jump out and nab it without getting myself or others killed so I caught up to him on 35 to give him a heads up. He was soooo stoned or drunk he was oblivious and I couldn't get his attention. His eyes were glowing and he had the stupidest grin on his face I have ever seen.
• Here, is what I imagined him jamming to as he floated along.

  

  Objects in the mirror...
• The good stylist at Pro Cuts left and those that remain do terrible work and are oddly surly. Wooten's on Saturday gets busy so I take Mini Me to Knockouts Haircuts For Men. Although I don't partake, they offer you a beer as soon as you sit down and treat you like a king and he gets a good haircut and gets to control the cable remote to a personal TV while hot chicks make a fuss over him.
• I remember when haircuts were $2.50. It cost me 25 bucks get out of KHFM today.
• Jimmy Wooten gave me the last haircut I'll ever get.
• Red gave me the first although for some reason Bert McClain became the barber we used most often. Red's hands always smelled clean.
  
  

  

  The sign to the reader's left is only true in certain cases. The one to our right varies from patently false to highly arguable (and situation dependent at best).

• Pop Tarts don't have enough filling. Is it like a drug- they cut it down to keep you coming back for more?
• I am drinking coffee in the evening for the first time in a while. When I was in college I had a cup of coffee and a big bowl of ice cream nearly every night after work. I weighed a 150 pounds and slept like a baby.
  
  
  
  

  

  Good, cheap tacos were to be had here at one time. It looks like it is closed now. No mas taquitos amigo.

• When a patient says, I'm going to be honest with you... I know I am about to be treated to some amazing lies. Well, OK- half truths at least.
• If you've never drunk orange juice with pizza you should give it a try sometime. All the cool kids are doing it.
• If you loved me like you say you do you would by this for me/us.

  

  I was a 17 year old lad when I signed up here at the armory in Decatur Texas. It was an artillery unit then. Was it Alpha or Bravo Battery? I think it was A Battery. It was 2/131 Field Artillery Regiment. We went off roading in a M151A2 Jeep with the recruiter the night before we signed. After we signed we watched pron on a reel to reel projector in a classroom while we ate chicken. One time the CO made a big to do about guys eating chow there instead of going out.  Coincidentally, a KP failed to wash Bippy powder out of the pans well. Consequently, 100 guys got sick and they had to shut down for the weekend. Being outlaws me and a couple other miscreants had signed the meal roster and went out to eat. We came back 30 minutes late and then hid out in the motor pool and Quonset hut. Later we were found by a Staff Sergeant who was pale and sweating. It went like this: Where the %$^&# have you #**&^%rs been? We were out cleaning the motor pool- you told us to do it this morning. No you weren't. I've been looking for you for the past hour! Uh, oh- some Sergeant came out and had us move some stuff around in the Quonset hut. Oh, well everybody is getting sick after chow- are you guys OK? The CO is thinking about shutting us down. he replied. We all feel bad. We were on our way in to tell you. we replied as we held our bellies for effect.

Happy New Yearrrrrrz

• I had a wonderful time for New Years Eve and in fact went to two parties with wonderful, amazing people.
• A lot of the talk centered around one woman's big fake boobs. The talk, woman and presumably boobs were the same as last year. It was funny though.
• Bewbs.
• We played Mexican Train dominoes. I don't know how/why Mexican figured in there- it seemed maybe a way to be vaguely and/or humorously racist but I could be wrong. It was complicated enough to be fun and challenging without being overwhelming or ridiculous.



So yeah- it involved a tiny locomotive and what could wrong with that?.

• An odd flashback: In nursing school a nursing home patient was a tough nut to crack. One of the guys in my class drew him for direct care and making care plans etc. To try and reach him he would play dominoes with him after he discovered it was something the patient really missed. The patient was a machine at the game. It was awe inspiring. I recall after just a few moves the patient would say, We might as well quit and start a new hand.  Why? my classmate would ask genuinely puzzled. With what I'm seeing in play, have in my hand and knowing the way you play and guessing what you have and what is in the bone pile- no matter what I'll win this hand.
• The female host's dog hates men and the neurotic beast would gnaw at my ankle if it sensed my foot getting too close to her mistress.



Not the ankle biter. I called this one George Jones as it looked like a possum.



Another canine in the house- also not the ankle biter. A terrible pic but a good dog. He is old and fat and cool. His name is Shooter. He digs ear scratches, eating tasty people food and sleeping by the fire. All you lady dogs he is available. Just click on the pic to contact him (just kidding- he is a confirmed bachelor).

• My lack of commitment is rubbing off on FG's friends: they serious-teased me about us getting married.
• There were recently deceased deer in the garages of both homes. They both died of a very fast acting lead poisoning.
• One mounted deer head I saw was a big whitetail buck that was shot out of a herd of 10 doe mule deer. The guesstimate is he was 6 years old at the time of his demise. I wonder what was making him shack up with the mule deer? It may be a common thing, I have no idea but I have never heard of it happening and wonder if the company he was keeping played into his longevity. He was ranged at 300 yards by my friend and taken down by a .300 Winchester Magnum. I know 300 yards?! Come on- it was probably more like 80- maybe. Nah, I believe him. After the jolt of the recoil all he could see was the does kicking up rooster tails as they split the scene. He was afraid he missed and the buck was heading for the next county with the does. The guy he was with said, Nah, he didn't move an inch. and handing the shooter his spotting scope said, See his feet up in the air? When they made their way to him he was lying on his back with his legs straight up in the air with Xs across his eyes as his spirit floated upward towards the clouds while playing a harp like a cartoon dead animal.
• Well, the last couple of things may not have been true to the scene but you get the idea.



FG's crunk cup.

• As it also happened last year we watched bad weather roll in and strategized about how to get home alive while still milking the evening for all  it was worth.                                .
• We ate pizza at one house and then at the next there was the hugest ham I have ever seen in my life. I mean really- I don't know why I didn't take a picture but wish I had. It was ginormagantuan.
• The second home had the largest television I guess I have ever seen in a private residence. I have no idea how large it is as every time the subject of it came up the guy host would add a few (or several) inches to the size.
• I sang and danced to this in front of FG. She laughed.



Not New Years but looks fun




Whoa, that is some big air



• Well, welcome to the new year. I'll assure you- this one will be both better and worse than the old.
• Good luck.

Notes From The Road

My new titanium spork has a bottle opener attached. I don't know when I would use it as such but it made a good tent stake puller

• Roswell cop cars are ugly.
• There weren't as many Mexican radio stations out that way as I thought there would be.
• A lot of the towns had a concert venue and/or performing arts center of some type. We just missed Clint Black and Don Edwards was coming some time after we left.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  Inside Artesia's visitors center. I couldn't get an answer why a safe needed a press attached to it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Academically I knew NM was a big state for agriculture but I had to see it to believe it- cotton and grain fields that went on for mile after mile and stretched to the horizon in every direction.
• There weren't as many people there as I thought there would be from Texas.
• We didn't see any javelinas except in a zoo. There were plenty of animals though. I saw one rattlesnake and more lizards than I have seen in my entire life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• The little zoo in Roswell is free and well worth it. Prairie dogs burrow right along the walking paths.
• We didn't make it to Lincoln National Park or the attractions in Lincoln County- there was just too much to see and do. We flat ran out of time.