Starwatching Party 10/10/2015 An After Action Report

• Saturn is probably my most favorite planet to view. We could see two moons and it's rings plain as day.
• Zac won an astronomy book as a door prize. 
• There was a group of black people there from some organization for kids and as is common to them they referred to adults as Miss ___________ or if a male, Mr. ___________. There was  a guy in the group named Ed and it delighted me to no end to hear them talk about or to him.
• There were easily a hundred people there.
• I want a telescope.
• An old female acquaintance materialized behind me and came and gave me a hug and chatted. I had been wondering about her. She is still beautiful in spite of having a bad hip and a bit of a mom bod. Well,  make that a grandma bod. She is a few years younger than me and has 3 grandchildren and another on the way. Yikes.
• Her new husband initially gave me the stink eye but he got over it and seemed glad to have met me when we parted ways.
• David the park interpreter is a great guy whose enthusiasm is infectious.

Monday's Missives

Persimmons. I take a lot of pics of persimmons don't I? They capture my attention for some reason.

Mmmmm, let me see here- about some nice fish or a crawdad this morning...

Creepy cactus bugs being all creepy and buggie.

Turd roller be rollin'.

• Those skinny leg suits with the 2 sizes too small jackets models are wearing look about as ridiculous as the black NFL football players hair weaves. In 20 years will people make fun of them both or be too terrified of looking like they hate black and gay people?
• FG and her dumb cat were lying by and on me on the couch earlier- wallowing all over me as we say. As I was thinking about how dumb he is and how much I hated his guts he looked at me and said, Meow! He then reached his paw out at me and touched my belly and laid his head against my arm and dozed off. FG then hugged my other arm and said, You are soooo snuggly. This is nice.
• Will I miss all that when it is over?
• Built To Kill: what we're watching (01/11/2015).

  

  What The?! What hit that car- a boat?

  
  

  

  At a local business. The funny thing is- this is the second time I've seen a vehicle stuck up on that rock.
• I just (01/12/2015) got back from visiting a friend in a physical therapy rehab facility. If I'm lying- I'm dying, she is in the same room- same bed that one of my last hospice patients croaked in. She is across the hall from a famous person's relative I cared for and when we turned down that hall I was sure we were going to take a right and be in that room. Nope- we took a left into the room of death (the famous person's relative didn't die while under my care).
• Just don't tell her please- it would freak her out.

  

  Have I shown you this pic before? Murica!

  
  

  

  A pen I carried during The War.

• One of those weird things that I can't forget: Some people with lymphoma will experience pain at the site(s) of their affected lymph nodes. The number of patients is low (probably less than 30%) but of those, the pain may be excruciating and exquisite (meaning it will be bad,  happen every time and with as little as one drink). A funny thing about the way those little tidbits work is, it would be worthless [and ridiculous] to use a shot of tequila for a part of a battery of tests but if a patient tells a doctor or nurse their armpit hurts after a random shot or glass of wine- that ought to get some attention.

  

  Found in the bottom of a box in my storage. Murica!

• Things I learned about my self and others during a long period of abstinence: In regards to the opposite sex- if you want more sex than you ever had in your life apparently let it be known you don't want to have sex until you're married. Not that it happened every day but multiple women begged me to have the seks with them. When it came to my understanding of myself one woman was good with no sex although we spent lots of time together. Thoughtlessly, I would walk out of a restroom in my underwear to change to go swimming or go out. There was a mutual attraction so it isn't like I totally disrespected her and looked at her as if she had the perceived sex appeal of a houseplant or whatever but I didn't think anybody could get that worked up over me. She said to the effect, No sex is fine- for now if that is what you want but you can't keep strolling around here in your underwear- it drives me nuts and I get all worked up and you know it and it isn't right.
  
• Today (01/19/2015) as I drove down 183 toward Mineral Wells I saw a  goober from from Roger Williams check traffic to his left and right with his hand shading his eyes from the glare of the sun. He did this apparently without realizing his having to do this meant drivers would be similarly affected.  He stepped in front of me right when the glare hit me the worst and I only caught him out of the corner of my eye- and I mean barely. I slammed on my brakes and steered away from him while honking the horn. He waved with a goofy passive-aggressive grin and kept walking. 
• Keep it cute homes. 
• You are literally only alive because I'm such a good driver and you were nearly dead because you are oblivious.
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  In front of an antique store in Mineral Wells.

• Once you know somebody with a dementia such as Alzheimer's you can pick others out of a crowd similarly affected- even by looking at a picture. They just have that look.

Wednesday's Digressions

What will they think of next?

Ankle bracelet I made for FG

Braided utility rope I made out of 550 cord to hang lights etc from a tent ceiling.

• I finally (11/23/2013) watched There Will be Blood. I'm still thinking... Something I can't get over though, is how poorly matched to the story the music seemed. I may be wrong but it just seemed oddly out of place and/or inappropriate to the scene it was building or supporting- from start to finish
• Multiple times (3+) I have killed a post that might have been scheduled to publish for days as Barry also commented on the same obscure thing on the same day mine was set to publish. We might have had the same take on the issue or be diametrically opposed. Regardless, I didn't want to look like I was arguing with him or sucking up/stealing so I reverted the post to draft. What really made me think about this though is on the exact day I was going to comment previously on this fact, Barry commented on how he and Keith Geeding would also make posts similar to each other on the same days.
• Weird.

  

  Oddly, I don't recall where we saw this rig.

  
  

  

  Mineral Wells lake is dry. Wish they had the means/wherewithal to dredge it during this droughty apocalypse.

  
  
  
  
  

  

  Park store at MWSP. It was built by the WPA The open area in the middle has always intrigued- I think it must have had a purpose but I'm not sure what that was- firewood storage?

• I continue to engage in word salad use and being increasingly forgetful. FG asked if I had or was having  a stroke yesterday. I am watching myself to see if something is really going on or if it is just stress and well- life happening at dangerously close to 50. I'll probably approach the subject with my doc. Trivialities seem suddenly important to me and what others would consider very important don't interest me at all. I have been very nostalgic while simultaneously having trouble recalling people and place names and at the same time being somewhat emotionally distant (known as detachment) from present people. I will attempt to put a box of cereal instead of the milk in the fridge which could happen to anybody but I find myself standing in front of the fridge instead unsure what I am supposed to being doing with the box or, more correctly- unsure why standing there instead of in front of the pantry feels weird.  If a person laid these things out to me from their heart I would say they are  possibly in the early stages of dementia or even entering the death process- weeks to some months away. Oddly, on impulse during enrollment at work a couple of days ago I took out a policy on me for FG and gave her an ITEOMD envelope and gave her some instructions in case of my being unable to intellectually to make decisions for myself.
• I am not scared. I may be vaguely a bit sad though.
• It is important that my doc is both super smart and a practical thinker. It is cool that she is super cute.
• Old doc saying I just love that can be used to prevent young doctors jumping to wrong conclusions: We live in Texas- when you hear hoof beats don't look up and expect to see zebras.
• There is a show on now about body language which uses Susan Smith's televised plea for the return of her children to demonstrate how her body language gave her away. Interestingly, I commented when I saw it back then that she was absolutely lying but I think without knowing it I compared her to her hubby at her side as the so called experts did on the television show. He seemed genuinely grief stricken and stunned- she did not.
• Recently RPM commented on the quality of some pictures I took. Also recently, somebody at work bagged on me and discounted some other pics I had printed and brought to the office as my camera, Was so expensive- it does all the work. No wonder the pictures are good! A funny thing about that: the new camera is loaded down with features I cannot use yet. Also, it might be slower than my old camera meaning I don't capture all the shots I would have gotten with my old setup. It is harder (to me) to use the more artistic settings on the new rig so I mostly use the auto setting which won't always produce the best (or most pleasing) pictures, meaning I took many better pictures with my old, cheap camera.
• Good grief- I just saw the Brown-Goldman murders on MSN in an article about famous unsolved cases. Good guhrief. Yes, I'm face palming hard in case you're wondering.
• Retarded: a headline on my new browser indicates that people are already lining up at stores for Black Friday- which starts 6 days from this writing. People are killing themselves to buy crap they don't need with money they don't have. 
• We are our own worst enemies. 

Monday's Missives

Wassup!? You got somethin' you want to say?

Old picnic area on Goose Island at Mineral Wells State Park Lake.

• Caraziest thing that's crossed my mind since I don't know when? After my patient left this mortal coil before my shift was over the other night it put me driving home in the middle of the night. Out of nowhere and without provocation it popped into my mind: You know what would be terrific right now- I mean awesome? A dip of Copenhagen! Doesn't that sound tumultuous?
• I don't know the last time I had any of the stuff.
• It was all could do to keep from pulling into a convenience store.
• I mean I fantasized about the stuff.
• Something you'll have to learn to accept if you're going to be around women: they always look for deeper meaning in everything- from the music you listen to, to the random sighs you make and they always and I mean always come to the wrong conclusion(s).
• Last night I dreamed about travelling to a foreign land, a foreign land where militants held sway. I was in uniform but not an actual soldier. A group of us were captured with a bunch of tourists. At one point we were marched into a mosque. I looked up and realized only the Muslims were in there- besides me of course. I sneaked out. A big, mean looking female terrorist came out and started beating a small child assuming he was the offender. I didn't say a word to intervene. It also involved zombies and dinosaurs. 
• That was my dreamscape for the night of 07182013- how was yours?
• Nope.......I may not agree with his sexual orientation but, he was a solider and deserves exactly what every other hero gets. Whos peter hes puffin' shoudnt make a difference. A comment regarding Alan Turing.
• Take it away Fly's with Got You Where I Want You featuring a pre Cruise kook-fest Katie Holmes.

Monday's Missives

• Two of the people close to me are the worst in my life about asking for my advice on issues and then ignoring what I say- or worse yet arguing with me about it. I don't mean in matters of pure opinion where they can (or even should) challenge me, I mean they ask me about things in context of my nursing background:  I just cut my hand off with a table saw, what do I do Kevin?  Wrap a tourniquet 2 to 4 inches above the stump. Put the dismembered hand in an ice chest out of direct contact with the ice and then either call 911 or have someone take you to the hospital. Well, if I do that then..."
• Aye carumba!
• I am very proud to be a nurse.
• A thing that initially hurts most people I think after a marriage ends is not being a consideration in important events and decisions in the other persons life, but if you'll let it, these same realizations will help you get better after you face them.
• There are at least 5 toys in my house within view of me that were mine during my boyhood.
• When I say, Whateva! you'll know I've been Listening to Liam Lynch's United States Of Whatever."
• Is there anything worse than pet names in a relationship when you're not there yet in your mind or anything sweeter in this world when you are ready for it?
• Sioux City Birch Beer- what I'm drinking. Sliced brisket, sausage, marinated tomatoes and green beans from Bakers Ribs- what it is washing down.
• Was it Mike that asked about KCMO's BBQ? I had a sliced sammie at Gates. It was terrible. Their thing there besides saying, Hi, how may I help you? over and over (I think that is right) is no black pepper that I could find anywhere. I didn't even ask, assuming it was one of those their thing kind of a deal that they were going to beat me down with. I had a full on meal at Hickory Pit. It was tumultuous. A cool thing about up there is you can order, "Burnt Ends". Which is exactly what it sounds like- all caramelized end pieces. You can even buy it chopped.
• For some reason I can't do a caption on the video below. I am demonstrating how to shave the magnesium block to a fire starter- rake the block across a sharp blade, not the other was around as would seem intuitive to most people I think.  Always make more shavings than you would ever think you could need. Use a bottle lid to gather and concentrate it and have a paper under it to catch what doesn't land in the cap. You can then place paper and all at the base of your fire and strike away.
  
  
  

  

  Hog nosed adder doing his best cobra impersonation.

  
  

  

  Put me down you stupid human or so help me... I'll poop on you!  (Yes he did in case you are wondering)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  Entrance created probably by a woodpecker to a cavity type nest. I thought it interesting how this piece fell off intact.

  
  

  

  Goose nest in old BBQ pit

  
  

  

  Old duck that lives at MWSP. He seems to be imprinted hard on humans and enjoy their company. He is very talkative and will give his position away when he is in a hide and you never would have otherwise seen him until he charts chattering at you.

  
  

  

  Goose nest

  
  

  

  Big Agnes

  
  
  
  
  

  

  Whitetail deer being delicious looking

Thursday's Thoughts

Rae and elusive American pelican

Permanent anchor used for ropes to climb rock faces in Penitentiary Hollow 

There are lots of things that people enjoy that I do not understand. The vandalism that is called graffiti is  fairly high on that list.

The sun rays through the clouds trick is an oldie but a goody and I like it

I told you

A CCC worker nearly a hundred years ago nearly killed himself building this bench  so some moron could deface it. Really- that is the ONLY reason it was built.

A beaver gnawed on this tree so long ago it rusticated

Coots

Cro Magnon and Neanderthal dudes- you have a long walk ahead of you  my friend

Bigfoot poop

What are they hiding in there- an alien spacecraft, a dead Sasquatch? I wear a foil hat when I go around that way just to be safe.

Vines that grew up through a fence always catch my eye.

• I will let you down. I will make you hurt.
• Sometimes, I can almost reach back and touch that dirty faced little boy named Kevin. I want to apologize and tell him things will sometimes be harder than he ever dreamed- or deserved. I want to tell him he'll see and inflict violence on his fellow man that he cannot comprehend and he'll have to endure emotional pain at the hands of others that no person should have to endure. Death will be a constant companion both professionally and personally. There is so much I could say, but when I see him in that yard in Decatur TX I just want to watch and think, God bless him- such simple times. I just want to watch him play in the dirt with his trucks. And yes, I'd also tell him it is all worth it. When life is good it is a miracle.
• One day I walked around the block with Zac while he rode his bike. The sun was setting and the air was cool. It was perfect, except- I had no one to share those times with. We were broke and things weren't necessarily looking up. I could barely walk, my back was hurting so bad and he didn't want to stop for anything.
• And there was no place I'd rather been. I literally thought, I don't know how anyone could ever kill themselves.
• Recently after a weekend trip to TF I couldn't find my deodorant in my bags when I got ready for work Tuesday morning. That evening I felt rank- it was probably mostly in my imagination but I disgusted myself and assumed I must have been repellent to my patients and nursing buddies alike that day
• I do not know how many times in my life someone I have known well has looked at me like they've never seen me before and said, Wow, you're shorter than I thought you were..
• My most recent Email exchange: Me: You're ridiculous She: No, YOU are ridiculous. Burn! Me: POW- Zing!
• The door to the bathroom is squeaking like mad and driving me crazy- and I don't recall the last time in my life I have been without a WD40 type product in the house.
• One of the negative things about being a guy in the women's world that is nursing is when in meetings and other settings not only does every. single. person. there. besides me feel the need to express themselves and be understood, we have to discuss feelings- those of others and ourselves. I have to take notes,  nod approvingly, appear engaged and intent while offering up fake-ish feelings, suggestions and observations while playing the Meow Mix jingle in a loop in my brain as a diversion.