Monday's Missives

• Is there anything any better than you're motoring down your favorite highway (or byway) driving way too fast and before you know what's up- Ponch and John whip their unit around, hit their lights and just as you are mentally looking for your license and papers and wracking your brain for that just right excuse that might help them have mercy on you- they blast right past you on the way to another call? I mean really- isn't that greatest?



• It's like winning the lottery.



• However, that reminds me- I will never lie or really even try to get out of a ticket in any way and I think that attitude has actually gotten me out of a lot of tickets. A little humor and a little respect can go a long way.



• No, really.



• There used to be two troopers in our area (Decatur TX) that were partners and were famous around here for their good looks. Really, they looked like recruiting poster models. One honestly looked a muscled up Zac Efron. I don't know how many women I've heard talking about them saying things like,"Either one of them could give me a ticket any day!"



• Sorry ladies, I don't think you are either one of their type.



• I've had food poisoning three times from restaurants.



• There aren't words.



• There is a BBQ joint near me that I get asked about a lot. People find out where I live and they'll say,"Oh, is that place any good? I've always heard it was good but, never got over there to try it." etc.



• Making me relive the time I went there and found a nice, big, long, curly, springy pubic hair in the take home container of beans.


• Thanks.



• It was black on one end and gray on the other and impossibly long for a pubic hair.



• I mean epically long.



• Good God, how does that happen? I mean as inexcusable as it would be in itself you could understand a head hair, a mustache hair, an eyelash but, good grief- a pubic hair?