At least a few times a year I have a dream where I am riding a bicycle down 287 from Bowie to Decatur. I pass brand new, fancy looking businesses that are not open and old broken down, funky looking ones that are bustling with activity. I constantly see people I recognize. Inevitably, the bike breaks down on Business 287 near (but across the road from ) Bobby's old pool hall. Somebody I do not know personally but recognize from around town will stop to help me. They are always super nice- they have a glow- an aura and I know I will be OK even though they try to fix the bike and obviously don't know what they are doing or they are otherwise clueless but are still trying to help.

      Somehow, I know I will OK- and it is a super powerful feeling. 

Wednesday's Digressions

• Whitecentric radio stations play ads for investment opportunities, foundation repair companies, lake lots and pills to make your weiner either harder or longer.
• Blackcentric radio stations play ads for payday loan places, payday loan relief places, cel phone plans, personal injury lawyers and night clubs.
• This past weekend (today is 11/14/2016) the only productive things I did were laundry and clean the kitchen- otherwise I slept and watched Teh Walking Dead.
• Perfect.
• The always comes out as teh the first time I type it.
• Finally I tried Tastykake brand buttered iced cupcakes. Verdict: good to very good.
• The front desk staff where I work gave me a cookie with a flag made of red, white and blue icing on it for Veteran's Day.
• Nice.
• This past weekend I watched Shut In. It was literally terrible. My date took it personally that I recognized it as a terrible movie. 
• Odd.
• The theater had the reclining electric seats though- very nice. I wanted to take a nap there.
• From the Blogfather: "If someone condescendingly says, "We live in a Republic, not a Democracy!" I'm guessing that's about the only thing they know about government." If I disagreed with virtually everything he says- I could not argue that point. He is absolutely correct in that assessment.

Wednesday's Digressions

• It is 0735 on 02/02/2017 and a hiccup just caused me to partially inhale a toothpick. Whoa that was scary. That would have been a stupid way to die.
• And yes- honestly, it was mildly terrifying when that happened.
• Man- what a stupid way to die that would have been.
• Gotta love that lifesaving cough reflex though- amiright?!
• Soap is getting better. I think I am on episode 42
• This past weekend I accidentally picked up book #12 instead of 11 of The Walking Dead. It was always pretty good so I am not making a dig by saying- it didn't get really good until about book #10.
• This morning (02/06/2017) I had a dream a girlfriend had a baby. We were walking around in Diamond supermarket in Decatur. At one point I said, Here, let me hold her. She was warm and soft and cooed like a dove. It felt good.
• My scrubs stay in the closet by the front door. I walk around in my chonies (or nekkid) until time for work then I slip the scrubs on when I am on my way out the door. It is one of those things- I cannot tell you why I do it but it makes sense and I am very unlikely to change.
• Recently I learned an old Army buddy died several years ago. The last thing he ever said to me was something like, Well, so long. I'm sure we'll see each other around sometime, somewhere. but we did not see each other around some time. I have an outline written to tell some of our stories. You will not believe me when you read them though.
• Interestingly- I never saw him again after we parted ways at Fort Hood but I met his parents and was a guest in their home.
• This morning (02/08/2017) as I walked down to my truck I started singing Way Down We Go by Kaleo. When I got in and turned on my sweet, sweet Alpine stereo that song started playing on 97.1.

Friday Evening Dispatch

• Today (07/30/2016) we went to Chickasaw Nation Cultural Center. Zac danced with the dancers during the Snake and Four Corners dances. That was pretty cool to see.
• We are staying at the lodge at Lake Murray SP. I foolishly walked across an asphalt parking lot to go to the pool without shoes. While I did not complete my asphalt degree I do seem to recall from my course work that on a 100 degree day the black surface of asphalt pavement heats to about a billion degrees. Consequently, I have a blister across the ball of my right foot that is epic.
• I need new sandals is one of the take aways of the previous thought.
• I might be imbecilic might be another- but we won't talk about that.
• The pool was not nearly as crowded as I anticipated.
• The food here in the lodge is adequate. It keeps you from driving into town, makes you not hungry and is better than having a stick poked in your eye-but it is not great.
• The marina here rents boats. About the only thing scarier than owning a boat would be renting one (which sounds terrifying to me).
• There is a family here for a reunion that I am sure is from Weatherford. If I had a guess where I had seen them from I would approach the patriarch (who looks most familiar).
• Man my feet hurt.
• Last night before bed Zac came out of shower and said, Dad I saw a lizard. It went down the drain! I went and looked but saw nothing. Although he is a good observer and not prone to lying it would be easy to wonder, Did he see a piece of vaguely lizard looking lint or...? It is 0317 on 07/31/2016 and I am sitting in the parlor of the lodge with the night clerk as she takes her break. I awoke at this ungodly hour because when I turned in bed a book flipped off onto the floor startling me. I got up at this ungodly hour to pee. I am still up at this ungodly hour because I had to take the Mediterranean gecko which I caught in the shower outside. 
• She is watching Homicide Life On The Street. 
• The clerk I mean, not the gecko.
• Last night we chatted with the maintenance guy who was holding a radio in his hand. Zac said, At first I thought it was a gun, then a knife. Then I realized it is just one of those walkie talkie things.
• What a world we have created for our kids.
• Zac asked if I could live here in the lodge. The answer would be sure but it would be better to be in the new one they are building right on the edge of the lake. This one is kinda beaten down.
• The server at breakfast this morning was sweaty.
• The 2 old guys at the table behind me are talking about Lyster bags which were bags used by the military to hold water. They resembled a duffle and were made of the same canvas material. They had spigots around the bottom that you drew water from. They would leak like mad until the material swelled- then they held pretty well. If your unit was squared away they would drop a block of ice in the bag for you.  I can taste canvas as plain as day just hearing my elderly neighbors speak.
• Today is 07/31/2016 and we are back at the Chickasaw Recreation Area. I am sitting beside an Indian guy from OKC at Little Niagara swimming hole. We have exchanged pleasantries, jibes and travel tips. Although I don't know his name I picture it being Tommy Redcloud and he is my only Indian friend. His girlfriend has an old English accent. No, I don't mean old as in Olde and before Middle English- just that she is from England and has been here long enough she has lost most of her accent. She also has a small black eye I presume Tommy gave her several days ago. She is pretty and he is what they used to call ruggedly handsome. They are madly in love.
• Zac is talking to a woman who is covered in tattoos. She she just laughed at something he said and put her hand on his shoulder.
• Somebody hollered, Snake! and everyone bailed out of the swimming hole like magic. It was a garter snake. I tried to catch him as other guys have stated their intention to kill him. I wanted to rescue him and Zac to be the one to carry him to safety. Mr. Snake was too wily and elusive for me though and slipped off into the nearby bushes. The kids surrounding the pool looked at me like I was crazy as I tried to catch him. They looked at me like I was insane when I said the snake would not hurt them and they could get back in. It took me diving into the water to get everybody back in.
• It seems like the water would be too cold for a snake but I also seem to recall garter snakes being very cold tolerant- although I might be making that up.
• The water smells mineral-ie and makes your skin feel  super soft.
• We moved to another pool. Zac spoke to 2 adult white guys for several minutes. As they left him one offered his hand and said, Well, it was good to meet you Zac. I'll see you later.
• Mexican guys, bro-douche white guys and lesbians like being seen walking pit bull dogs.
• Lesbians often have boy children with pierced ears and girl children who are butched up.
• Kevin those are racist, xenophobic and homophobic statements! you scream at me.
• No, those are observations based on things I saw at Chickasaw NRA and many other places.
• Goodnight world wherever you are.
• I love you in spite of yourself.

Monday's Missives

• An old friendly acquaintance crossed my mind recently. She was gorgeous, funny, smart and sweet and coincidentally had a rockin' bod. She was also married. There was some tension between us that was made worse by the fact I know she dared herself to jump the fence with me. Thank God it happened late enough in my life I was strong enough to resist ( I am an oak after all). Her hubby had several health problems and was unlikely to live a statistically full lifespan. Some time after she and I parted ways I thought of her and the question, I wonder if he is still alive ? involuntarily crossed my mind. I hope the fact that I felt like a monster for thinking that, made me less of a monster.
• Although she lived in Dallas, an uncle who had for the most part raised her was buried near Weatherford. She called once and ask if I wanted to meet up for lunch as she was at the cemetery- a cemetery which I was coincidentally nearby so I swung in and we walked around together. We stopped by some railing on a trail that winds through the cemetery. I leaned back and put my hand on the rail. She leaned back and accidentally on purpose put her butt on my hand; then with faux shock she jumped away and we laughed. She then sighed and leaned into me and put her head on my shoulder. My heart jumped up into my throat. We did go eat lunch but I never saw her again.
• Why?! Because I am an oak. 
• After telling a younger person about my life growing up in Decatur TX she said, Wow, that sounds perfect! To which I replied, Yeah, it was like leave It To Beavertown but all the grown-ups smelled like cheap cologne and makeup, fried food (or barbecue) beer and stale cigarettes.
• When I was way too young to be doing so I would disappear from the house and be gone all day. There are memories of little old ladies giving us lemonade and cookies and of course there was always random hose water but how did I not die of a heatstroke, get run over by a car or be sauteed by Albert Fish's grandson?
• Jesus
• A woman asked me for my cel phone number yesterday. That is always a mild thrill and nice little validation.
• The other day I saw a patient in a restaurant and had to catch myself before I said hello to her and her friends found out I was her tuberculosis nurse and we had met at a TB clinic.
• Consumption.
• My 9 year old is getting an Ipod for his birthday- a device I could not have comprehended at his age. He is about the same age I would have been when I  picked up Coke bottles to buy a used AM/FM radio from a neighbor lady who had offered it up at her yard sale. She saved it for me until I had the money. I wonder where that thing is? It followed me into adult life as I recall using it when I did make readys for an apartment complex during the summer while in college and think it may have even been used in a garage in my married life but have no independent recall of when it finally gave up the ghost. 

Notes From Teh Road

• We have taken a road trip and are in Ardmore at Motel 6. It was recently remodelled but already looks beaten. It gets rode hard and put up wet I am sure. We got here before 6 PM and were lucky to get a smoking room. They gave me a discount on it though. I am rarely asked if I want smoking verses non- it is most often presumed I will be cancer and gingivitis free.
• We saw a lot of cows in stock tanks just soaking in the water and not moving a muscle. That sight and the sound of cicadas always mean hot to me.
• We saw the aftermath of a horrible wreck driving through Decatur. Rex Hoskins was on the scene and it made me think everything was under control.
• Nope- no sarcasm there.
• Jorges in Paradise is always good. Zac ate enchiladas from the grown up menu.
• We are eating caramel Bugels, drinking Gatorade and watching animal docs on Discovery Channel.
• Life is good.
• My neighbor back in Texas has been out of pocket for days. When I knocked on her door her dog did not bark and her plants are dying so I presume she is not there (or not there and dead, unless her canine companion died at the same time).
• The Motel 6  pool is full of people. We followed the old motto of, Just say no to hepatitis and came back inside. Zac can swim tomorrow- in a lake where all he has to contend with are flesh eating bacteria, poisonous snakes and that one odd, out of place alligator you always read about.
• Hepatitis up there came out as hepatits first.
• Ha!
• It doesn't matter the time of day; it is usually bumper to bumper on 35 heading north during weekends these days.
• Zac is listening to his own type of music on over ear headphones on the bed across from me. He grew up. How did that happen?!
• It is 07/23/2016 at 1855 hours.
• We had breakfast 07/24/2016 at Prairie Kitchen in Ardmore as is typically our wont. They could make their coffee a little stronger but otherwise- the food and service are always in equal measure very good. There are almost always people we have seen there on previous visits. It has been open since 1984.
• There was a gentleman there with a big scar and deficit to his left cheek. He would use his left hand to osetensibly absentmindedly twirl his mustache on that side but he was just trying to conceal the scar. This was so true when had to turn away from one person he was speaking to look at another exposing the side with the scar even more- he would just open his left hand and place it over his cheek covering the whole left side of his face.
• Chickasaw Recreation area was our next stop. The spring fed swimming holes were so cold we could not hardly stand it. As a matter of fact, with ground temps away from the water at 96 degrees and rising, when we got under the shade and near a falls area where the water was contacting a lot of air; it must have dropped the temp. 15 degrees. It was positively refreshing.
• We saw no crayfish and aside from a couple of minnows we saw no vertebrate life forms in the water.
• I saw a guy covered in Mexican prison tattoos.
• It would have interesting to have been a fly on the wall and see how Native Americans used the land that comprises Chickasaw Recreation Area and interacted with each other back in the day.
• There were a lot of mixed race people there.
• The thought occurred to me of bringing a sample back from the spring source and one from further downstream and having the lab at our county health department test them.
• Zac wants to go back with his diving mask to be able to determine how deep the water is at the swimming hole we mainly used.
• Good idea.
• For some reason this song and video kept coming into my mind when I was lost in my thoughts.
• Goodnight world wherever you are. 
• I love you in spite of yourself.

Jay Adams Dead In Mexico at 53

I didn't know which pic of Jay to use- old prison tatted Jay or young Jay so I settled on this one. It captures multiple moments in time perfectly. For a lot of  people he was still trapped in the early empty pool skateboarding days- the guy played by Emile Hirsch. Undoubtedly, Jay was like any middle aged guy- he teleported back to those days often I'm sure. Also, as any human but especially somebody with his demons- how many people really knew him? At the very least there is plenty to wonder about the guy whose face is half hidden.

I have no clear recall how I learned about the type of skating he pioneered which involved low down free form moves borrowed from surfing. There were some pics and posters and magazines I saw somewhere and there is a vague recall of seeing something on TV or a movie. I fell for it though and slalomed down every paved and concreted hill in Decatur TX. Every drainage and every overpass was mine.

I could move from front to back of a moving skate deck like the average person could walk on a sidewalk and could ride sitting on my heels over the front deck as good as anybody around could ride in a traditional posture.

My first skateboard had a wooden deck and metal wheels. It could not have come into my possession anything after 1972.

A few years later a red plastic board with nylon or poly wheels materialized.

I still miss the metal wheeled board and can feel my legs vibrating thinking about that hunk of junk.

Even more I miss that dirty, sweaty feral boy who put thousands of miles on skateboards in the 7 square miles of Decatur. He drank hose water from random houses when the elderly lady who would offer lemonade wasn't well enough to watch for him and carried Coke bottles to Ray's for honey buns and chocolate milk to power through those miles. He got hassled by The Man and the Laird Brothers and the Owner of Lee's Grocery but Red the barber and Burt the barber were oddly cool to him.

I miss young Kev.

I bet old Jay missed young Jay to the end too.

Thursday's Thoughts

Found on Craigslist. Nobody was more surprised than the owner that no one had jumped on it after a month plus with the advertised price of  5,000 dollars. Your unsolicited car guy advice for the day: Being old and previously identified as a sports car does not make a car valuable kids.

• Frequently I have a dream where I ride with an old friend to drop my kids off at a baseball game in Decatur. The car she is driving is an old, huge tuna boat of a car which she bought from an elderly family member. It has 278,000 miles on it. We leave the kids there even though they're way too young to do so and tell them to go to Allsup's for a Coke when they're finished and we will pick them up there. When I go back the're not there and I inevitably wake up in a panic- so literally terrified I'm confused as to where I'm at and can't breathe.
• The Raven- what I'm reading. There is no telling how many times I have read it through the years- hundreds I suppose.
• I would like for EAP to know people are still reading his work over a hundred years after his death. He was one of the first Americans to attempt to make a living on writing alone. It is rare I meet somebody who knows he was a West Point Cadet. In fact, his first book was funded by subscriptions from his fellow Pointers. At age 27 he married his 13 year old cousin. She was playing the piano when a blood vessel burst in her throat. The loss of her figures in a lot of his work. He was found on the street wearing clothes that didn't belong to him. He died at 5:00 in the morning.
  
  
  
  

  

  Clark Gardens

• During Theodore Roosevelt's exploration of the River Of Doubt one of the crew drowned in some rapids. They named a nearby falls after him. The impromptu inscription read," In these rapids died poor Simplicio."
• Poor Simplicio
• When self serve gas stations became more prevalent in the 1960s people didn't know how to pump their own gas so clerks would often have to show people how to put gasoline in their cars.
• Rosie Odonnel or Roseanne Barr? Are you kidding me?! Roseanne of course.

  

  Here, I demonstrate how to rock- with GH Bass Bremmers.

• The release of Bowe Bergdahl doesn't mean his case was one of the US negotiating with terrorists as he was a prisoner of war and he was exchanged for other prisoners of war- and nope, it doesn't matter how he was captured.
• During a long ago relationship I strayed. The vile temptress had a name starting with J. After the fence was somewhat mended I was listening to a version of Jolene. Woman formerly known as woman told me to turn it off. I thought she said turn it up so I obliged. She walked in and unplugged the computer. Funny. Here is a favorite version of Jolene by the modern day troubadour- the inimitable Jack White.

Mondays Missives

From the gift shop at Meramec Caverns- I think it was 400 bucks.

When I see beer cans some cretin left on the bank of a lake or river I pick them up and crush them  for the old can guy to find.

We got covered in ticks visiting a park in Lee's Summit.

I cannot wait to view tigers and orangutans with a feeling of, "bamboo thickets , exotic birds and ruins".  Also, isn't it great the orangs and tigers will finally get to experience, "invading forest with canopy trees"?

A pack of wild wheelbarrows rest between kills in the KCMO Zoo.

There is a commemorative highway, marker, memorial, museum etc for everything you can imagine every other mile in Kansas.

• I have always loved the Wise County Messenger paper. When I was in Germany my mom sent me a subscription. I fairly often received the copy addressed to a soldier also from Decatur in a different unit who I was in the same scout troop with as a boy. The interpretation is someone at the main USAEUR post office recognized the paper as belonging to a guy in 3/11 Armored Cavalry Regiment and sent it to our region where someone remembered a guy in Bad Hersfeld getting the same paper where it went to my squadron where someone knew to send it down to my troop- correct? It seems impossible, but sometimes I'd get it with my name and address and others I'd get it with his name and unit address. I want to bump into him someday and see if he had the same experience and recall.
• I have recounted the convoluted trail those papers would take to get to me and remember my interpretaion being doubted but do not recall peoples rationale. What else could it be? I would receive papers with the other kids name and Army Post Office address at a Kaserne 200 miles from my own and it happened multiple times.
• One of my best friends in that unit was a black guy named James Brown (not making that up). He ran the mail room and would read my paper and comment on there not being any black people pictured and tease me about him being the first black person I ever saw without making trips to the deep south on vacation to lynch folks. I told him about knowing lots of black kids growing up and playing football and basketball with them, but yes- we did have to cross the tracks to see each other. When he would find pictures of a black person in my paper I would later get it with the pictures of those people circled in red.
• Citizen Cope- Let The Drummer Kick
• Children if left to their own devices are solar and water powered. It's not even summer yet and I can't keep Zac out of the pool.
• Zac and are going to build a rocket this year. I bought several kits on clearance a couple of years ago. Chloe and I spent hours building one of them up just right with her choice of colors. I taught her about space travel and aeronautics etc. On its first flight on cue at it's apogee the orange chute popped open and we watched it drift away- never to be seen again.
• I have known of multiple cases where a manic depressive person's moods have been balanced out with meds and the person would fuss at their doc because while yes, they no longer have those lows they also don't have the highs.

Kevin: My Life And Hard Times: An Autobiograpghy

I was born a poor black child... Ha, I'm kidding. Well, I was born and I was poor, but the other part isn't true. Bridgeport TX played host to my birth and the hospital which saw me in was torn down years ago. The doctor who delivered me was well known for the number of babies he delivered in our area (3000+). Some of my strongest nursing memories are for the interaction of he and I years later. My mom named me from two boys in the newspaper. She did not recall the context of the article(s). I imagined them as street racers who died a fiery death on some back road or as recon specialists with the First Cavalry Division in The Nam.

When I came home from the hospital it was to a dairy my dad worked. I stopped and took pictures of it once after I found out where it was. It was torn down just weeks later.

When we moved in about my second year it was to a tiny house that we referred to as the house between the highways. It was between 287 and business 287 in Decatur. There is a tire store there now. When I was about 18 months old I got out of the house somehow and crossed 287 and was found in the median. The subject came up often- at least into my 30s and after the story would be told, blame would be laid and fingers pointed by those whose negligence nearly resulted in my very early demise. I think it freaked everybody out a little how close they came to losing their little snow flake.

My earliest memory I suppose is man landing on the moon. Everyone kind of rolled their eyes when I innocently mentioned that in front of family as an adult. They could only say,"Oh, I guess you're right." When I recounted in detail everything that happened- my brother took pictures of the tv and recorded the sound on a reel to reel tape recorder, my dad basically telling him that it was dumb to go to the trouble etc.

My best friend and I met the first day of first grade and I got lost on the way home from his house that same day. We had planned most of our childhood to own a used car lot when we grew up. He died in his early 20s. We were planning on bringing him to Germany where I was serving. When he died I was literally lost- in the back of my mind I'd never intended to do anything after the Army but have that car lot there in our home town.

He has been dead most of 30 years and it still literally stops me dead in my tracks and causes my chest to hurt when he crosses my mind.

I had a crush on his sister like no other. We later tried to ruin each others lives by acting on that years and years later. She was pretty and smart- incredibly smart and made tons of money. She was the first woman to ask me to marry her.

From the very early grades if something was wrong with the equipment in a classroom I would look at it and often be able to fix it. Honestly- if I went to the janitor and asked for WD40 or a wrench, a light bulb etc. he would just hand it off to me without asking me anything. He would also asked me to help him with things if he caught me in the hall and in fact ask teachers for permission to pull me out of class sometimes. He was called Froggy. His last name may have been Taylor. He was very elderly and had huge ears and wore overalls every day. He was a very sweet old guy. I'm glad I don't have to live with even thinking a mean thought about that man.

My favorite teacher was a student teacher. I think his name was Minton. He was a C130 gunship crewman in Vietnam. The Renshaw ladies were better to me than I deserved. Mrs McDonald was a music teacher who lived near me. She had a beautiful sloping lawn. When she would play the piano with the window open I'd lie on the ground outside the window and listen while reading.

My classroom was less than 5 minutes from my house. When the last commercial on the Three Stooges would start if I took off running at that exact moment I could then be in my classroom and have time take a couple of breaths before the bell rang.

All I ever wanted to be was a soldier. I can see the news of the fall of Saigon April 30 1975 like the TV is setting in front of me now. I asked my dad to the effect,"Where will I go for a war now!?" He laughed and said,"Son, I'm sure you'll be able to take your pick of wars."

I have in my lifetime: owned a fire hydrant and held a live (and very angry) badger by the tail.

Things I have done that you have not: fired an M60 machinegun, 1917 Browning machinegun, a full auto M14, M3 greasegun, 1914 Thomspon submachine gun, BAR, M1 Garand and M16- all in a single day.


Something else I've done that you have not: a donut in a Camaro- inside a National Guard Armory.


OK one more- single handedly swept and mopped the entire drill hall floor of a National Guard Armory.

One day in the living room as I walked by my trusty golden retriever I impulsively hiked my leg and cut one in his face. He started gagging- not in a clearing his throat, I'll be OK- just give me a sec. guys. kind of way- in a back arching, I simply do not know how he kept from yakking on the carpet kind of way. I hadn't noticed my girlfriend (who would later become my wife) was walking behind me and witnessed my vile act and my poor dogs response. She started gagging. Omigod you're sooo stupid Reeeaack, and disgusting. I can't believe... Rack rack, ooof. Oh my God, you're sick. She turned back down the hall and barely made it to the bathroom before losing her cookies.

Yes, I once made a dog gag and a girl vomit.

My best friend was murdered by another friend. He shot him in the head. The bullet impacted the crown of his forehead right between his eyes. When I think it about it I can still smell Mike's brains on the mantle.

My dad was a strange mix of good and evil.

After his death I went into a tail spin and lost myself for a while. Then I found myself on the East-West German border. I turned 21 on guard duty on the border. Like Decatur, I still consider the city where I lived in Germany a home town. I was very adept at the language and was always used as an interpreter for simpler stuff. When I came home I overheard someone asking a cop in German and very broken English for directions. I was able to ask them where they were from, muddle my way through directing them and wish them well.

Two hi lites of my service in the Army were that I served in both the 1st Cavalry Division and the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment. They were both units I studied and fantasized serving with from the time I was a little boy. The two disappointments of my peace time service were being accepted into 1st Cav's horse platoon after a test ride and grueling interview, but not being released by my unit to serve and not being allowed to attend Ranger school and get assigned to a Ranger Battalion due to my serving in a critical military occupation specialty.

I could tell you what that specialty was, but then I'd have to kill you.

Younger, pretty Mexican and black women tend to be attracted to me.

I have attended an outdoor performance of  Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture where the BOOM part in the music was played by the firing of an actual Napoleon cannon.

When I meet Meatloaf as I assume we all will some day, I'll say, Do you remember being hit in the face by the Bota bag of wine in Mannheim Germany in 1986? Dude, I'm sorry- you just looked hot and thirsty! He will say, Don't sweat it man. That swig of cold French wine saved my life. Do you want a job as a roadie? I can only pay you a hundred thousand dollars a year.

While no genius, I possess above average intelligence and have a vocabulary that's roughly twice that of the average American.

I have broken: left arm, fracturing both arm bones at my elbow (motorcycle wreck) two toes of my right foot, pinky finger left hand and nose (football), pinky finger right hand and knuckle (fighting), L1 vertebrae and torn ACL (hurt in Iraq). I have some high frequency hearing loss and my ears ring constantly (being proximal to blasts in Iraq). I guess that covers my list of serious personal injuries.

In my life I've been a dishwasher, HVAC tech, carpenter, mechanic, floral design assistant, and delivery driver, city water treatment operator, maintenance worker at a water park, concrete worker, self employed landscaper, electronics technician for Boeing Defense, heavy equipment operator, pharmacy technician, soldier and nurse.

I would have done something else also- something that may have made my fortune, but Clinton's tax increases literally crushed me.

In another life I would have probably been a pretty good: doctor, lawyer, farmer, wildlife biologist, constructor, scientist (researching optics, light and/or weapons), engineer, teacher, cop or firefighter.

OK, I get it- throw in astronaut for good measure.

When I've taken those tests that determine your aptitude for careers, it always come out that I would be well suited for some form of: law enforcement, teacher or military officer.

The JP who married my wife and I was named Plum Rasbury.

Nursing caught my interest both because of interaction with nurses while my eldest was in the hospital as a baby and getting tired of being rained out in my construction work. I am a very good nurse. Presently I do hospice. You know you have a good job when you'd do it for free, but you get paid pretty well to do it.

The job I was working before nursing was a close second in greatness. It was conservation work- building flood control structures. I loved it. There are lakes in the middle of nowhere I helped build that 100 years from now people will be swimming in and fishing from. I also worked on the rebuild of Kickapoo Lake dam. I also worked on the DFW expansion building runway 7L and refinishing Throckmorton Country Club's golf course. In my time in earthen construction I personally moved over 300,000 tons of our world from one place to the next.

My wartime service was a hi lite of my life. I had been out for 5 years when I read the Texas National Guard was mobilizing.  News of the mobilization came from the paper while I was working nights at my nursing job. I told my wife, "The entire division is mobilizing  The scout platoon was specifically mentioned in the paper. I'm sorry, I have to go." she said,"What can I say? I've always known you'd have to go if a war started." You could be killed!", everybody else said. You could be killed crossing the street and anyway, I'd rather die on a battlefield than live at home knowing my country needed me. Also, I had a weird sense If I went, some kid with a future wouldn't have to go.

I did my job well while downrange, made a lot of friends and had a good reputation among soldiers in my unit, even those I did not work with directly. My call sign was CombatKevin. I was also known as CK. Other past military nicknames in various units and postings were Predator, Mr. Clean, Hammer, Kevron and Kevmeister. There are a few others, but I don't know you that well yet. You can determine how well liked or hated you are in the military by the prominence, playfulness and/or viciousness of your military nicknames.

Downrange I got hurt and am now considered disabled. That's been the biggest hit of my life- going from benching 300 pounds free weight (with an under 200 lb frame), to if I pick up Zac incorrectly I'll go straight to the floor. From having 18+ inch biceps with a 44 inch chest to being skinny. From washboard abs to almost having a belly. From being able to run 2 miles in under 14 minutes, to if I forget and take off running to my car while it's raining I'll yelp and get soaked shambling to the car after I hurt myself trying to run. From being kind of a stud at softball and tennis to some days doing well to get from point A to point B...

Sometimes I have to use a cane. Although, the cane has flames going down the sides and can be folded up and placed in my backpack. It's not as cool as you might think though.

The psychiatrist I saw when I cam home from Iraq was named Elizabeth Taylor.

My mom loved me like crazy although she admitted it was hard since I was so much like my dad. If I went out and picked mulberries from the tree in the front yard she'd bake me a little individual cobbler out of them with sugar and biscuit dough. She was 90 pounds of pure, fierce determination. She lived to be 80 years old in spite of smoking like a freight train all her life, although many of her last years were miserable.

She died at 6 o'clock in the morning.

I still miss her.

Weird things about me: I have a vague, gnawing fear I'll someday break my left left leg midway up my shin. Roller coasters terrify me (don't tell anybody, but I've lost consciousness on them- literally- I fainted dead away) Occasionally, I practice writing with my left hand in case for whatever reason I ever lose function in my right. Peanut butter is one of my favorite foods, but the smell of it nauseates me if I smell it while not actually eating it. I have a crazy good memory, although it is tied to a very hard auto delete function. For instance, in my nursing if I'm told I'm cancelled on a patients case and then get surprised by being reassigned two days later to the same person, I may have to ask for the address again as I may simply have no recall of exactly how to get to their house.

I am very good friend and neighbor. Although I don't think I've ever intentionally betrayed a confidence I have trusts a time or two- like everybody has I suppose. The knowledge of those failures though, has made me a better friend than I was capable of otherwise.

I never lie and have only told two in the past 20 years.

My best friend in the world is a published author and screenwriter. We hunt together and share secrets no one else in the world will ever know. He bought me a very nice shotgun once because I was in a tailspin over a horrendous loss in my life- just because he thought it would make me feel better.

Headaches rarely bother me- maybe once or twice a year.

In another life I was a foster parent.

My children are all very smart, funny, interesting, good looking, well built, kind people. My eldest has enlisted in the Army and my 4 year old has stated his intention to do same. My daughter says she wants to be a nurse.

If my youngest hadn't come into my life by now I'd probably be living in Puerto Rico where I would be writing: my autobiography which would mostly be for my family, a horror story idea I've had for years which is so heinous it would get an X rating and be banned in schools and finally, a war novel set in Iraq based on enlargenated versions of my own experiences and war stories other guys told me which might be pretty good.

Generally speaking if I'm well enough suited for an endeavor I don't generally fail at it if I apply myself at all. Also, I'm real good at self assessments- so I'm not real used to dealing with failure. My marriage was a failure. When asked I sometimes say to the effect,"We were two pretty smart people who together could figure out a lot- accomplish a lot and do really smart things, but we acted very foolish in ways and lost it all- we threw it all away." We knew each other for most of our lives- such a shame.

I've spent the last few years figuring out who I am and where I'm going. I've come to the conclusion my best and my worst times are probably ahead of me. In short- I am a human being.

Thanks for reading world. I love you in spite of yourself. I wish you the best and will do whatever I can for you- just ask.

Mondays Missives

• A headline concerning elderly gentleman getting to be batboy for a pro baseball game: "Batboy is 100 years old." My first thoughts? Batman and Robin are 100, that's not possible is it? Wait, are they being mean to Batman or snide toward Robin?


• "We make dogs into people. America is dog heaven for some dogs"jigga what jigga who


• Don't know why, I like that quote though.


• The above pic. makes me think of a friend who go in some trouble when he hired a plane to take up a bunch of flyers and coupons announcing his new business in Decatur TX. That was at least 25 years ago- need to ask if he still remembers that.


• Saw a lady out shopping when I was looking for books one day who had to be in her late 60s who had a tattoo on one of her outer legs.


• Also saw a woman who had her ear pierced at the top and the ornamental part of her earring between her scalp and back of her ear. It looked kind of cool.


• I hope it was intentional


• I saw a girl once who had the little divit in the front of the ear opening (whatever that's called) pierced- that looked really cool.


• While it can be overdone I like tattoos and piercings on women.


• About a year ago there was a lot of coverage of a very well preserved baby mammoth. A woolly mammoth will be the first prehistoric animal cloned and an elephant will carry the fetus.


• You may not have read that one here first.


• I can't wait though 'til they get the first T-Rex cloned!


• And the smarty pants scientists learn where the dragon legends came from when that thing goes berserk and incinerates everything in sight.


• Probably read that one here first.

Monday's Missives

• Is there anything any better than you're motoring down your favorite highway (or byway) driving way too fast and before you know what's up- Ponch and John whip their unit around, hit their lights and just as you are mentally looking for your license and papers and wracking your brain for that just right excuse that might help them have mercy on you- they blast right past you on the way to another call? I mean really- isn't that greatest?



• It's like winning the lottery.



• However, that reminds me- I will never lie or really even try to get out of a ticket in any way and I think that attitude has actually gotten me out of a lot of tickets. A little humor and a little respect can go a long way.



• No, really.



• There used to be two troopers in our area (Decatur TX) that were partners and were famous around here for their good looks. Really, they looked like recruiting poster models. One honestly looked a muscled up Zac Efron. I don't know how many women I've heard talking about them saying things like,"Either one of them could give me a ticket any day!"



• Sorry ladies, I don't think you are either one of their type.



• I've had food poisoning three times from restaurants.



• There aren't words.



• There is a BBQ joint near me that I get asked about a lot. People find out where I live and they'll say,"Oh, is that place any good? I've always heard it was good but, never got over there to try it." etc.



• Making me relive the time I went there and found a nice, big, long, curly, springy pubic hair in the take home container of beans.


• Thanks.



• It was black on one end and gray on the other and impossibly long for a pubic hair.



• I mean epically long.



• Good God, how does that happen? I mean as inexcusable as it would be in itself you could understand a head hair, a mustache hair, an eyelash but, good grief- a pubic hair?

Mondays Missives

"This is Georgina.She works part-time as a chef at a leading resturaunt in Cheshire.She has won many, many medals at Special Olympics over the years in swimming and gymnastics and now she is a swimming coach for youngsters.On top of all this she is a spokesperson for the Special Olympics.I have been producing calendars to raise awareness of Down's syndrome and this image was shot for the 2006 calendar.You can find out more information at:http://www.ds2008.co.uk/ " - Flickr






• I'd like to have at least a years worth of interesting non topical posts scheduled. That would give me time to do some well written and researched posts I'd like to express myself with. Think about it, if I died the posts that came up later would be like a message from beyond the grave! Mu waa ha ha ha.
  


• That might be a good book idea, a guy writes a blog that gets the whole world inspired by his theories and philosophies on love and life and everyone tries to figure out who it is and the mystery only deepens as lead after lead comes up cold and pretenders are found to be pale imposter's. In the end, as the story unfolds we find that the real author was a 16 year old Downs affected boy who died three years prior of a congenital heart heart defect but, he had so much wisdom he had those years worth of posts scheduled to publish.
  


• Then a reporter who had spent every waking minute writing scathing reviews of the blog and deriding all it's followers as simpletons looking for a quick fix to real problems is the one to track down the author. Intent on a confrontation he goes to the boys home where his single, beautiful and strong willed mother greets him and tells the boys story. The reporter is so moved he throws away his powerful high profile job and begins ghost blogging in the boys place just as people start losing their way because the scheduled posts have all been published months before. We fade out to some uplifting music as people who were on the verge of suicide pull guns out of their mouths after reading his posts. Estranged families come together tearfully after being reunited by the power of his simple messages of love and forgiveness. A pregnant woman leaves an abortion clinic hopefully caressing her unborn baby through her dress after reading the blog on her Iphone in the waiting room...
• Man, it's tough being goofy as me.
  


• When I was a boy in Decatur Tx there was a store called Russells Shoe Store. Me and my mother were in there at the same time as an adult Downs syndrome affected man and his strikingly pretty mother. He would fuss like a young child while the salesperson fitted his shoes, "Ow! Wha uh,uh, that horts my foot." he said through what I thought were obviously faked tears. Mom shushed me when I asked, "Why is that grownup acting like a kid?" Years later I was a nurse at the hospital where he died. He looked the same, just heavier with gray hair, she was still beautiful but, of course very elderly. I know she took good care of herself through the years just to be there for him. The saddest part of witnessing their ordeal was the fact I know that day was the day of greatest sorrow she ever faced and simultaneously the greatest relief in her life.

This Day In History

"Wanderone (also known as Minnesota Fats) enjoyed promoting a feud with world champion Mosconi over how to present pool – either as a rough-and-tumble gambling game (Wanderone) or as a genteel pastime and art form (Mosconi). Mosconi's widow, Flora, has said of the rivalry, "My husband hated Minnesota Fats because he felt that [Wanderone] was always hurting the image of the game instead of helping it." Wanderone on the other hand would state smugly, "I may have 'given away' a few games to deserving competitors, but I have never lost a real money game since I was old enough to spell 'Weeli Mesconi'." The two played on Valentine's Day 1978 in a televised match on ABC's Wide World of Sports. With almost 11 million viewers, the game was the second-highest rated episode of the show for that year, behind only the Muhammed Ali vs. Leon Spinks rematch. The game was held at New York's Waldorf Astoria Hotel, and was announced by Howard Cosell. Although Wanderone lost the game, he won the audience with his banter, and with his joking manner. Mosconi on the other hand was perceived as coldly serious and even hostile."

As a boy I honestly did not know who I worshipped more- the confident, sophisticated, tux dressed Mosconi or the loud mouthed, wise cracking, profane Wanderone. I mean how could you ask me to choose?

I kid you not, I remember watching that match like it was yesterday. My dad was a pool hustler like no other. My uncle and other older guys talked to the end of their lives about how he would go into the bar behind the old Jeters liquor store on 287 in his overalls after work and carrying a cheap cue (which I still have) and take peoples money and basically dare anybody that wanted to try and take it back.

Decatur TX where I grew up has had at least four pool halls that I know of and I've spent as much time in them as anywhere I suppose- starting when I was about six. Geezers would give me money, chewing tobacco and indulge me in games of pool telling me to rack em up and letting me take their money.

Simple, simple times.

Fridays Digressions

• While placing my empty printer cartridge in the recycling envelope I noticed instruction #1) Place 1 or 2 empty HP inkjet cartridge(s) in this envelope without additional packaging, materials or notes.




• It's annoying sometimes to live in a world that requires that kind of instruction.



• Nearly everytime I go to into my children's bath after my son showers for school there's an empty Dr Pepper can on the side of the tub. Part of me says I raised him right something else tells me I've failed him.



• He'll be ok.



• I swear, the spaces between these thoughts comes randomly sometimes and if I go back and try to edit, it won't take and goes right back like it was when I publish.



• The Christmas tree is up and for I guess the 35th time (or whenever I saw it last) seeing it reminded me of the silver tinsel tree we had as a child that had a multi colored wheel that faced it and spun around by an electric motor casting red, blue orange and green? colors over that tacky tree. I can still hear it humming if I close my eyes.



• It malfunctioned and caught on fire once, no one was home- it's a wonder it didn't burn that old house down.



• Mom loved Christmas, I'd give anything if she had one more with us.



• When we were little some Christmas' dad would take us out to see the Kings family lights on Christmas eve while mom would stay at home and pretend she was going to bed to be ready for the big day. She would put all our presents out- some of which were stored at neighbors. We'd come home and the bottom of the tree would be overflowing. We still have a picture of my sister running for her presents- she is just a blur.



• The best part of the Kings lights was Santa fishing from a boat in the lake.

Mondays Missives

• I just read the football huddle was used first by players from a deaf school so their hand signs wouldn't be read.



• The story I read even included the QB's name. I still don't buy it- way too convenient and would have evolved the same without such a cool story. Something huddle-ish would have to happen from the start. The composition and formalities would evolve very rapidly.



• When I was a boy in Decatur TX A friends dad was known for supposedly being orphaned and so without a place to go and not wanting to go to the family members assigned to take him he ran away and went to a home for deaf children and stayed until he was 18. I don't know if it's true or not but, that friend said he'd seen his dad sign with strangers.



• That kids brother went to prison for murder as a teen. He got caught burglarizing a barn and shot the elderly man who confronted him. He was missing an index finger because of sticking his finger in a bicycle chain when he was a little kid. I remember he used to gross us out by sticking his stub up one of his nostrils and making it look like his whole finger was buried up there.



• I listened to the 80's band The Thompson Twins yesterday. Man, we got A LOT of things wrong in the 80's but, not the music.


• It seems like a lot of the women who kill their husbands for insurance or inheritance money they spotlight on those shows were addicted to some type of horse showing/breeding/racing activity.

From The Next Blog Button

Name: KOAKIRA
Location: East Timor
"I think positively comfortably everything."

I like KOAKIRAS outlook, it really pumped me up and encouraged me with its simplicity so I wanted to spotlite his blog here with his picture. I saved his pic and then looked for it by scanning my pictures and my documents. I didn't see it so I used search with the file name I know I gave it- after 10 minutes (literally) of allowing the search to continue I gave up and Xd out of it. That's crazy! How could it take so long? I never find anything (well hardly) when I use windows search for files.

I'm bummed again.

Thanks for the effort KOAKIRA, you looked like a nice guy, sorry I can't share you with my legions of faithful readers. Come see me in Decatur, America sometime.