Saturday's Situation

• I'm off to buy shin guards for Zac's last soccer game of the season. Of course- for which game would you expect them to become MIA?






• Having our end of season party at a park to eat and play Frisbee etc. instead of meeting up at a pizza place like everybody else seems to do.






• Because we're not lame that's why.






• What key am I hitting that causes letters to disappear when I go back and add a letter to a word?






• I don't care anything about having the fish aquarium around anymore and that really surprises me.






• Lucky: Zac loves to help clean house and do laundry.






• Man, that will be a big help when he's a teenager.






• Ha!

I'm Exhausted- In A Good Way

My patient expired 3 hours after I got to her house. She made that clucking noise with her tongue and went pale- instantly pale and opened her eyes. This usually means there might be a few agonal respirations and then nothing. I called the family in and told them she was almost gone. Three or even four minutes went by without a respiration. She was turning white as a sheet. Suddenly she drew a deep breath and continued respiring agonally for fifteen long minutes with only maybe two breaths a minute. Thankfully I'd prepared the family beforehand what these respirations looked like (it can be upsetting looking) and then reminded them she was OK. No pain.

They held their breaths nearly as long as she between respirations and then would breath deep and sob when she would inhale during those miserable looking final respirations.

Everybody was sad. Everybody Cried. Everyone told her they loved her. They told each other they loved each other. They shielded only the littlest child from grandmother's end.

When I walked out at the same time the funeral director was taking her away they became as tearful as when she expired three hours before, but they had a certain peace- they were far from OK, but I knew they would be.

Good night world.

Raising Zachary

Even though it's been years since I went hunting I picked up this years hunting and fishing regulations booklet recently. Zac saw it in the backseat of the car and picked it up.

Dad, there's birds and guys with guns in this book, what's it about?
It's about hunting.
What's that? How does that work?
You use calls that sound like ducks and put fake ducks in the water that brings real ducks close and you shoot them.
You shoot them. He said pointedly.
Yes, when your brother was little he and I did it all the time- a lot.
You shoot them and then what?
You eat them.
You eat them?
Yes.
You eat them.
Yes.
After a couple of minutes of silent thought while looking at the book he resolutely said, I want to do that.
Guess I'm going hunting again.

Wednesday's Digressions

• I've never eaten a Peeps.





• Is that Peep?





• Regardless, that's unlikely to change.





• Weird: my niece asked me about my love life at Easter.





• Weirder: my other niece showed me her suture lines from her breast augmentation.





• Not as creepy as it sounds- they go from the underarms nowadays.





• How the subject came up? "Hey Kevin, did you know _______ got new boobies?"





• One of my nieces made desserts of Peeps on stacks of pretzels covered in chocolate to resemble a nest.





• Cool, but I still did not eat one.





• Desert or dessert in a sentence? Remember- you want to eat two desserts.





• When the wet weather was moving in recently I literally had trouble getting around my joints were so painful.





• It's rough getting old and with my genetics, lifestyle and otherwise good health I'm likely to live a very long time.





• Groan.





• Silverchair- Shade. When these guys first made it big they were teenagers. As I recall the lead singer was literally 15.

Next Blog Button Foray

Flatulencias De La Farandula

Hola amigos pido disculpas por tener un poco abandonado el blog, pero aquí estoy de nuevo!!!! Para empezar les quiero contar algo que los hará reír un poco, me contaron que este fin de semana se fue un grupo de amigos que pertenece a los medios de comunicación, y que se fueron para el bar que frecuentan, pero que antes de entrar a la parranda se comieron unos HOT DOGS y el que mas comió fue el COMENTARISTA DEPORTIVO que andaba en el grupo, se comió cuatro perros calientes con todos sus ingredientes, dicen que al momento de combinar las copas con lo que había comido hubo otra reacción!!!! Y que se andaba tirando unas flatulencias que se sentía en todo el bar, el dueño del lugar le dio la orden a los chicos que trabajan ahí de que buscaran bajo las mesas por que creía que había algún animal muerto en el local. Hay amigos esto nos puede pasar a todos así que tengamos cuidado con lo que comemos.

Hi friends I apologize for having a little left the blog, but here I am again!! I want to start counting them something that will make them laugh a little, they told me that this weekend was a group of friends who belong to the media, and they went to the bar that frequent, but before entering the parranda ate some hot dogs and ate what else was the sportscaster who walked in the group, ate four hot dogs with all their ingredients, they say that when combined with the glasses what he had eaten there was another reaction! ! And that he was pulling some flatulence that she felt throughout the bar, the owner of the place gave him the order to the guys who work here to seek low tables that he believed that there were any dead animal on the premises. There are friends so we can spend all so be careful with what we eat.

Monday's Missives

What my fantastically wealthy future wife will buy me for Christmas. Yes, it's real and functional with an 80 CI HD motor.

• Recently the subject came up between my sister and I the number of sex offenders in our area I knew. The name of one eluded me so I went back to the WCSO site to look up his name. Another person who was a former family member had since been added to the site bringing the number to 7. That is going to happen in a place like Decatur if you are even nearly a sociable person and especially if you've worked in any type of public service I guess, but wow. (To be clear none were buddies or anything like that- I knew who they were and they would have known who I was.)



• I would not let my children go interact with the former family members children without my direct supervision because he was and forgive me for being so technical- creepy. We watched for signs of trouble with their kids and I even tried to catch him when he could be in the act.



• I'll offer this much: First, trust your instincts. Also, if a man is not just shy or reserved, but obviously socially retarded, impulsive, has an overbearing mother who was older at the time she had him and he lost his father early or he may even still be alive, but is a very weak person, he is known for not having any normal relationships and especially if he is known for sexual dysfunction with his adult female partner and you allow you're children around him bad things are going to happen.



• Bleah- let's talk about something else.



• The rotator cuff is killing me, but I guess not bad enough to break down and get it repaired. I've not heard one single good experience with that surgeries recovery period although the end result is always reported to be positive. The people who have recently related their experiences to me have all said the pain is worse than the surgeon indicates and recovery time longer.



• You never hear bullfrogs anymore- why?



• Zachary went bow fishing with me and my buddy the other night. Didn't see anything, but Zac got to reel the arrow in after a couple of shots into the water. On the way out he said,"I want a small bow and arrow- one for me where I can reel it and reel it."



• We heard a huge pack of coyotes howling and yipping.



• Yipping- is that a word?



• We ate chicken sandwiches and baked potatos from Wendy's on the tailgate of the truck with filthy hands. Later we stood on the bank of the creek and watched the stars and blundered our way through the galaxy pointing out the odds and ends to Zac and each other we remembered from years old endeavors to learn a little astronomy.



• And there was no place I'd rather been.

Easter Sunday Summary

• When I quit coffee which I've done on/off throughout my life I always sleep better and generally feel better overall- other people say the same. Why do we do it to ourselves then?




• Because it's greaaaaat!




• When I came home a baby would have been way towards the top of the list of things I would have said I did not need. I just did not know what I needed.




• I was hard and cold- Zachary forced me to care and be good.




• It's the same with hospice work. I just needed a physically low impact job with a flexible schedule since I still wasn't getting around very well when I could no longer take it and knew I needed to go back to work. I did not know the difference it would make in me.




• It's the kind of job that will eat you alive and burn you out if you just go through the motions and don't pour yourself into it. It sounds counter intuitive, but it's true.




• If I was wealthy I would literally do it for free (better yet-cheap) with a not for profit company.




• Everyone should have a job like that once in their life.




• When Zac was a baby he would get in the tub with me and curl up in the crook of my arm and sleep half submerged in the water. Inevitably he would get relaxed and of course...




• If I can drag him out of the tub where he now is shooting a water gun saying,"Put your hands up daddy!" we are off to my sisters to hunt Easter Eggs and eat too much.


• Have a great day.

Saturday's Summary

• A video about the national debt. How I know we'll probably never do anything about it? We are still talking about it.


• For such a smart nation we can be incredibly dumb.


• There is also something wrong with our political system I'm afraid.


• My eldest son dislocated his shoulder yesterday- very painful, but he's OK.


• My baby son is in my bed asleep and I'm drinking coffee.


• So far so good.


• Want to watch a shocking documentary (it was considered the first shockumentary) about the end of colonialism in Africa? Find Africa Addio online. I'd link to it on Google Video, but it will only be up until April 29.


• I can't get the Supertramp song Give A Little Bit out of my mind.

What I'm Listening To

Blink 182- I Miss You.

Some Days You Wake Up Knowing Everything Is Going To Be OK

This morning Zachary came into my room dragging his blanket over his shoulder and sleepily said," Can I git in bed wish yew?" Heaven.

Thursday's Thoughts

• My friend called me from Vegas at 4:49 this morning. I did not answer.


• I was so exhausted after my last case I was in bed by 11:00 yesterday morning and just rolled out at 6:00 this morning. How many hours is that?


• Too early to think- gave me a headache.


• Patients families often ask, "Why aren't you and______ together?" when she relieves me and they see us interact.


• The Cure- Just Like Heaven a song Robert Smith wrote about a trip to the sea and his then girlfriend who became his wife. Twenty five or thirty years later they're still together. Also, give Dinosaur Jrs cover a try- it's Smith's favorite.


• If it could be pulled off a reality show about hospice would be big.


• A lot of people jog and walk around my apartment. That is very good to see- maybe there's hope.


• I always bring good eggs for the hunt at my sisters with more money than I care to think about in them.


• I'm drinking the Moutnain Dew made with cane sugar instead of corn syrup.


• Delicious.


• Nutricious.

Two Principles Regarding Politicians

1) No matter what they are telling you, they aren't telling the whole truth.

2)No matter what they are talking about, they are talking about money.

Give A Little Bit

what I'm listening to: Goo Goo Dolls- Give a Little Bit. Or, if you prefer- Goo Goo Dolls and Elmo sing Pride. I'm off to work. Good night world- wherever you are.

Monday's Missives

I love this vehicle- the Bradley Fighting Vehicle. If you've seen The Pentagon Wars and/or remember the debate over it when it was being fielded everything you think you know about it is wrong. It's a great, reliable, survivable vehicle that is responsible for saving the lives of many Americans and ending the lives of many, many enemy. I'll talk more about it someday, but I came across this pic looking to illustrate this post and got a warm and fuzzy feeling so I thought I'd put it up..

• Echo And The Bunnymen- Lips Like Sugar.


• Which made me think about this song, Kill Hannah- Lips Like Morphine.


• Not really obsessing about lips this morning just an Internet induced lazy train of thought.


• Stupid Internet.


• I put a gray moth caterpillar in a bowl with Goldfish crackers the other day to show Zac when he came to see me. In a few hours it had eaten nearly a whole cracker and in less than a full day had eaten several. By the next morning it weighed 11 pounds and by that night was dead.


• Scientific conclusion: Goldfish crackers are dangerous.


• But, maybe the caterpillar didn't weigh 11 pounds though.


• But, it was ginormous.


• I'm very picky about food and drink products I ingest being fresh and safe with one possible exception- I'll warm days old coffee in the microwave.


• That even sounds gross, but yeah- I do it.


• Richard Deacon who played Mel Cooley on the Dick Van Dyke show wrote several microwave cookbooks.


• I recently watched the pilot to that show. It was terrible, but the weird thing was none of the actors were the same, although all the characters were more or less intact when the series did air (the exception was Carl Reiner initially played Robert Petrie). It was correctly deduced that the concept was good, but the actors were wrong.

Sunday's Summary

My father is the smiling baby.

• My last hospice patient was 103 years old. She is now my record high in age. I hope my record low is never beaten.


• 6 months.


• Cage The Elephant- Shake Me Down. Very sweet video. I hope for a death like the one portrayed in the video when it's time.


• In the bath the other day the stopper popped up and burped when the neighbor got in the shower.


• That can't be right or good.


• IHOP has a decent Philly. They serve American cheese in it- eew. I had them substitute cheddar.


• Better.

Thank God I'm Home Whether It's Friday Or Not

The falls. Some call it the Niagra Of The South- not really.

Castle that was the model for Dr. Frankenstein's. It was dissassembled in Europe, the stones numbered and after a 2 month steamship voyage it was rebuilt on moonshine wealth in Oklahoma.

I'm sorry- I'm lying, it was built of native stone by a college professor back in the 1930s.

• Zachary and I just got in from Turner Falls.


• We stayed here. The people were nice, the room decent.


• Zachary wanted caves- he got one. It's not exactly Carlsbad Caverns, but there's a few small ones in the park. We had to crawl into the first. Not a problem for him. It was a problem for me.


• Whaaaaa.


• He loved it even though we nearly froze our tookus' off (it was 54 degrees with 40 mph winds and humid).


• There was tempted tornadic activity (tor con 7/10) all around us and it hailed off/on all evening last night.


• I think that was the first time Zachary held a hail ball.


• Oklahoma is a very beautiful state with lots of wildlife.


• An odd thing I've noticed- they have lots of signs. I mean there are traffic signs for the signs up there- Merge Right NOW right after 2 signs in past 1/2 mile indicating the lane would end. Motorcycles use caution. Read and observe signs- state law. Stop HERE with an arrow on a miniature stop sign that's literally right under another stop sign...


• Go to Turner Falls some day and tell 'em I sent you.


• No, don't do that- unless you want them to think you're weird.


• Going to go soak in tub and then SLEEP.


• Goodnight.


• PS. Ya'll try to burn the world down while we were away? We literally started choking on the smoke around Denton- couldn't believe source wasn't more local to that area it was so thick.

Thursday's Thoughts

• Been watching a great BBC series on wilderness survival by Ray Mears. It reminded me of a sad story- Lady B Good. You can find Extreme Survival at Topdocumentaryfilms.


• Zachary wants to go see a cave. I'm thinking about going to Inner Space, but man- instead of making a 6 hour round trip to see a big hole in the ground it sounds better to drink coffee all morning have an early lunch and then nap.


• Hey, it works for lions.


• Well, maybe not the coffee part, but they would if they could.


• Old timers believed in something called a rain crow and would tell you if they heard it singing, "It's going to rain in 24 hours or less." What we heard when one first mentioned it to me was a mourning dove (although he was correct it would rain). I could be easily convinced there is something to the tone, cadence and length of call being a predictor if someone studied it. I thought ones call was different before the last storm and actually told Zac about it when he asked what was making the call. It may be a convenient memory, but it's happened several other times as well.


• I could literally and easily live making road trips with my children in an RV.


• Also, I like staying in hotels although I hardly ever sleep well in them the first night.


• An awesome associated memory: My two boys and I went on a road trip to Turner Falls. We walked, we explored, we swam both at the falls and at the hotel and ate at the same great place we always eat at that I can never remember the name. As we lay down me in one bed them in the other I said,"Here's the remote don't be too loud." I woke up an hour later to see they had turned the television off and were sleeping soundly. I passed smooth out and slept like a baby.


• Have a great day.

Wednesday's Digressions

How you know the worm has turned for you and life is going to be better for you from now on.

• There's a big dude that walks around in our neighborhood bowed up with his fist doubled looking angry and crazy. Really, he's going to be in the news some day- I absolutely assure you. The other day he was wearing a T shirt that read, SCARY. Dude, my guess is you get lots of things wrong in this world; that is not one of them.


• My friend is 30 years old and is in and out of EDs and doctors offices for bronchitis. This morning she was so short of breath she was fearful, gray and in a cold sweat. Yes, I know it's easy for me to say, but how can she not just throw her cigarettes in the trash and never, ever touch one again as long as she lives?


• My mom could make epic fried chicken livers. I mean really, I can still remember what they were like and none anywhere, any time has measured up since my childhood.


• Associated memory: she also made beef livers with onions- bleah. One day she put some in the oven to cook while were gone for a short while to the store or something. When we came home someone had come in the house and taken them- pan and all. They didn't take anything thing else in the house, but those gross, stinky livers.


• Thank you God.


• Thank you Mr. Thief.


• We have some great parks in Weatherford.


• Weekend before last at Zacs soccer game it was so brutally cold kids were flat out refusing to play. The next was spring break and the following game day they were all hot, sweaty and red faced. If we had played during spring break I guess in the first half they would have froze and in the last they all would have burst into flames.

What's So Civil About War Anyway?

The true father of our country.

I am a direct descendant of this man, General William Raine Peck. He was a wealthy plantation owner in Louisiana. In spite of his wealth he enlisted as a private and eventually rose to the rank of Brigadier General. He was the last commander of the Louisiana Tigers. He was known as one of the largest men in the Civil War and at 6 feet 6 inches and 330 pounds was the largest in the Confederacy. You can read his obit here. It's the 6th one down the page.

• Today is the day our Civil War started 150 years ago. One of the first things I thought of when reminded of this is all the civil wars we and other developed nations interfere with all over the world in any given year.


• We are so proud of ours though- we spend millions of dollars a year preserving battlefield sites and paying people to tell the story of these battles. Every year several new books on our Civil War still come out.


• We are proud of our war.


• That war was also inevitable politically- it was the only thing that was going to bring our nations (yes, it was that sharply divided-nations is essentially correct) back together. Why don't we let other nations have their wars and just get it over with?


• I know part of the answer is in modern warfare more- a lot more civilians are inevitably killed than combatants, but still I've never heard anyone frame our involvement abroad in terms of our Civil War.

Raising Zachary

"What will you have sweety?' The waitress asked Zachary at lunch yesterday. "I want chocolate milk please. That kind of chocolate milk that doesn't move around and around." Translation of his drink request: chocolate shake.

My Ankle = Dinner

• Since the pond dried up and killed all the fish now that it has refilled the mosquitos are crazy.


• A weird biology experiment for you: When you notice a mosquito is partaking of your blood take a deep breath and see what happens. It will not be able to fly off until you exhale. I assume it's because it must have to pierce into a pore and pores close off when you hold your breath but, that's a guess.

Monday's Missives

That's me in the middle.

• President Obama proves every adage about trying to please everybody. Also, I cannot think of a single more polarizing personality in any field.


• Wonder what spellcheck does to a persons ability to learn to spell?


• Pandas represent everything wrong with the way humans think. Pandas are evolutionarily retarded. They will become extinct no matter how many nights we lie awake and wish they won't and no matter how many millions of dollars are wasted each year on them. And all this is because we perceive them as being cute. If they were ugly and venomous no one would care and we wouldn't raise a finger to help them- even if they had a fighting chance (which they don't).


• Found a show starring Bruce Campbell that I cannot believe I'd never heard of, Jack Of All Trades. No surprise- I love it. Also no surprise considering the last sentence- it was cancelled in the middle of it's second season.


• Hint of it's greatness: Vern Troyer played Napoleon Bonaparte.


• Proof of how ignorant we are of history and the ridiculous things we all believe: Napoleon was of average height for the time he lived.


• I'm leaning back in my chair as I write this halfway expecting mom to gripe at me about it or dad to finish the job for gravity and tip the back of the chair as he walks through the room giving me an object lesson as I crash to the floor.

Sunday's Summary

The entire first chapter of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows as graffiti on a bathroom stall wall. Interesting, but someone has waaaay too much time on their hands.

• Dreamed about my mom last night for the first time I remember. We bumped into each other travelling in a foreign country. She looked as frail as she did before her death, but was getting around fine and we just walked around and ate and saw the sights enjoying each others company. She looked radiant, but God- how frail.


• One of my favorite books is also one of my favorite movies- Fahrenheit 451. People misinterpret the moral of the story almost completely. There was a component of the dangers of state sponsored censorship to it as most people presume, but it is mostly about the danger of television and other mass media eroding mans love of books and by extension not thinking for ones self. You can actually see this tone set as Montag's wife centers her whole life around the television and radio making herself so miserable she suicides.


• What I'm listening to: Living Colour Cult Of Personality. More proof the late 80s and early 90s were the apex of mans musical endeavours.


• I haven't enjoyed the aquarium nearly as much as I thought I would, but the sound of the water trickling out of the filter is nice when I'm sitting up writing like this.


• Zachary loves taking the car through automated washes.


• A simple pleasure.

It's 4 O clock I The Morning And I'm Getting Ready To Pass Out Instead

• of starting my day. Oh well- not the only thing I get backwards in my life.


• My patient died at midnight last night so I got off a little early.


• I cared for him for 15 shifts- straight. Unusual and interesting: he was coherent and fairly mobile when I first accepted him as a patient. After a few nights he would force himself to stay awake (or try anyway) and refuse assistance from day shift girls to get into bed. He was shaky on his feet, but still strong physically and sharp mentally.


• By midnight last night he had dropped I'm sure at least 20 pounds and was absolutlely unresponsive. I knew he was getting ready to give it up by a change in skin color and respirations. After about 2 minutes he just faded away and stopped.


• I was glad I was the one to tell his wife- and she said the same.


• They had been married 66 years.


• One evening I brought her a word search book, a chocolate bar and a couple of other things I knew she liked so she would know she would continue to be thought about after we parted ways and ease the pain caused by an earlier thoughtless nurse. She said,"Look here, Kevin brought me chocolate and a puzzle book. I think he is trying to seduce me!"


• She is 96 and will crack you up with the outrageous stuff she comes up with.


• I have the magnet we used to stop the defibrillator in the patients pacemaker. It's on my fridge holding a picture Zac drew for me.


• I'm surprised at how OK I am without someone to come home to when a case ends in the middle of the night.


• I'm not surprised at how bummed I can be that Zac isn't here every morning to pull the goodies out of my backpack I would have stashed for him earlier. He called my backpack my nurse purse.


• At a couple of the nursing homes I'm contracted they would save snacks for him when they knew I was coming in- especially chocolate health shakes and protein bars etc.


• I am exhausted- literally.


• Wonder how much sense this will make when I read it later?


• Good night world. I love you in spite of yourself

Craigslist Craziness

Very exciting gravel giveaway - about 1/2 yard
Date: 2008-08-26, 9:02AM CDT
Well its about to happen again...it's going to snow and it will cover the gravel pile in my driveway. I will then be fooled into thinking that I or my wife was too lazy to totally push the snow out of the driveway and cleverly left piled it kind of out of the way. Not this year! No stinking way! For I am taking action and going the distance! I am saying to the whole world via this posting on craigslist that the pile of gravel is up for grabs! Hey, are you the right person for free gravel? Things to consider: -Moving gravel is a great work-out. I'm big and strong today thanks to my gravel moving routine. -Kids love gravel. I am constantly telling all sorts of kids to get away from my gravel/snow pile. SHOO! -Go Green. Go gravel. -Women love gravel. I often look out the window to see my wife looking over the gravel pile and shaking her head in amazement. -Gravel has staying power. Its has stayed in my drive way for two years! -Food and drink taste better after moving gravel. There are more considerations, obviously. But you also need to know that the gravel that will allow to finally finish that project and one-up your neighbors before fall comes is located at: [ ADDRESS DELETED] Bring a shovel, your vehicle and all the excitemt you can muster! It's gravel! Thank you.