Merry Christmas Missives

• Chocolate milk and lipstick colored boots, a Leatherman multi tool, a space shuttle and a soccer ball- presents I bought this year.


• My daughter locked herself in her room- can you help me get her out? What my niece said of her 2 year old daughter when she stuck her head in my sister's house this morning.


• My eldest son recently killed a hog with a .270 when I was not around. It's OK, but kinda weird- I'm real freaky about weapons and my children if nothing else and he had a successful hunt without me.


• I only know a couple of people who are unemployed and they could have jobs- something if they really wanted.


• Went to my children's grandparents ranch after a long absence and spent the night the other night. It was soooo dark out there away from city lights. The barn is way down in the pasture behind the house- a little oasis of light. There is always a radio going to scare off predators and sooth the cows and horses. I love the smells: poo, dirt, sweat, sweet feed and rust.
• Grand dad raises rodeo bulls- we almost stepped on a big black one on the way down to the barn that was probably named Terminator or something. It stood up and walked away without without even goring us and passively watched us walk by.
• My children's uncle has an English Bulldog. He decided he liked me and wanted to sleep by me which was awesome since he has evidentally been scientifically trained to to alternate all night between farting, burping and snoring. I literally woke up more tired than when I lie down.
• Merry Christmas.