Monday's Missives

Piece of plastic found in my Panda Express teriyaki chicken, Mmmm... plastic-ie.

There is a lot going there for a sticker I found on a banana. It looks vaguely comminist. I don't trust it.

My patients love me.

• Recently through an odd, and tortuous route I was reminded of an old girlfriend. She is a very gifted salesperson. A component to the story is I was reminded of a  product she marketed by seeing part of a dumb unrelated infomercial and using that as a basis for a little online stalking got back in touch with her by Email.
• She was glad to hear from me ( she even mentioned recently trying to contact me by an old cel number) but isn't it a little weird you can randomly stalk people like that these days?
• A connected thought: I haven't had that cel number in years- how could it not have been taken by somebody else by now?
• Another connected thought: I hadn't spoken to that woman in a few years and hadn't even thought of her in a long time and within 2 weeks of thinking of her and attempting a contact she did the same for me?!

  

  Green mamba some idiot collector released or rough green snake?!

  
  

  

  Hmmmm...

  
  

  

  Still smiling 5 minutes after being bitten- probably rough green snake.

  
  
  
  
  

  

  Baby eagle found on the ground after a storm. I call him Popeye as apparently fire ants found him before I did and ate his eyeball. He keeps the rat and squirrel population down around my place.

• PS the above child was not bitten by the snake and that is not an eagle named Popeye who feasts on rats and squirrels around my house.
• I call him Murica!
• Normally I have my children on Wednesday nights but won't tonight as their mother and I traded some days around. I am simultaneously relieved I don't have them and ashamed for feeling that way.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  My kids are good fishers

  
  
  
  
• A black friendly acquaintance is aware that my children are pretty widely separated by age and has heard me during the course of conversations mention my adopted child's mother (without mentioning said child is adopted). Consequently, she has gotten it in her head that they all have different mothers and says things to me that start with, Do any of you baby mamas ever...?

  

  My children have played chess against John Malkovich

• As of this writing (09/09/2015) I recently was asked by a woman with whom I have been spending time (WWWIHBST) the number of sex partners I have  had throughout my young life. When I told her the number she reacted with shock that bordered on disgust. Some things are none of your business and if you don't get the answer you were looking for- why did you ask in the first place?

  

  Aside from being a bowling ball with glass baubles glued to it I don't know what this is but yeah- we live in  world where a bowling ball with glass baubles glued to it would absolutely be stolen from the Botanic Gardens in Fort Worth were it not chained and padlocked to the ground.

• So exactly who are, Richard Stoltzman, Bob Acri and Mr. Scruff anyway?

Creature Cavalcade

As promised pics of the snake captured on my latest wildlife expedition. We weren't really quite sure: was it a corn snake or a copperhead? As both the assistant baby and I are alive after several bites I'll go out on a limb and say confidence is high it's a corn snake. Note the carefully cultivated habitat including the broken riding toy my neighbor gave my daughter (thanks bud at least it could have matched the one I have up on blocks in my drive.) Please do not try this at home- except for the degree, training, government and professional recognition and general common sense, I'm basically a professional wildlife scientist. disclaimer: no animals were harmed in the making of this picture (unless you count me- why is my hand still numb?) and in fact ms snake here was saved from the ravages of the mower and released into proper habitat.

Cavalcade Of Creatures

um, you might want to not click on image to enlarge.
If you've been following this little blob for the past few decades you'll know I'm an animal lover- specifically wildlife and have spent a good deal of of my time in my young life endeavoring to learn more about our friends of the woodland realm. I've brought you pics of snakes, toads and terrapins saved from the ravages of the lawnmower and baby chicks dealt a harsh blow by gravity. Sadly, all did not end well for Bambi as he negotiated the highways and byways of our fruited plain. Although I must say I don't know who was the goofiest: the guy who cut the head off a 40 lb. deer or the sobbing homeless man who said,"Can you please call animal control or the police or somebody? A black pickup hit her and a Red Tuareg stopped and cut her head off. It just happened about 30 minutes ago."

Fridays Dispatch - The Early Edition

If you have half a heart you'll save me from this tiny terror. Look at me- the indignity. Oh, the doganity!
(my translation) I lived in Labrador for a few years therefore, I'm quite fluent.

• Me and the baby slept out under the stars last night. It was nice until the wind kicked up to about 40 mph. He kicked me for the 50th time. The security light kicked on about 80 times. And the coyotes kicked in howling for about the 13th time.


• I'm beat. I drug both of us in about 4 or 5 AM. He didn't want to come.


• Mowed part of the yard yesterday. Felt very satisfying.


• Talk to me about it about mid July.


• Will have pics up soon but, caught a corn snake near the trash can. Very pretty- she just shed.


• How do I know it was a girl? Something in the way she looked at me I guess.


• Turned it loose at the back where I let it get scruffy just for our friends of the woodland realm.


• Showed it to my daughter she said,"Eeew I hate spiders."


• Huh?
• There has recently been a guy killed by a train in Decatur. I hadn't spoke to him in a long time but, we go way back (went?). Every Saturday we played basketball at the old gym on Cliff? Street and every Sunday we played football on the DISD field. Flag or touch? Um, no- tackle. Injuries you ask? Let me see, a broken ankle, nose, collarbone and finger are all I remember guys receiving. Lacerations and scrapes never slowed us- we thought you wore shirts to have something to wipe the blood away from your face. I also remember there was a guy who had played some college ball and was then an assistant coach of some type. It sounds cool and it was to have him on your team but, he got carried away and tried to push us around and run the show- kind of taking the joy out of our simple pastime.
• Jimmy Johnson knocked that guy smooth out one afternoon.

Fridays Dispatch

• A prediction: In our lifetimes wars will be fought over drinking water rights-in our hemisphere (as in Mexico). It will start as more or less riots then it will become a civil war.
• This will shock us and get our attention more than the wars there'll be over water in Africa and the Middle East.
• We'll still feel insulated because it's over there
• My baby boy just got back from the doc. The place on his head is just a hemangioma- a birthmark that arises after birth. It has it's own blood supply so when he scratches it off, his bed looks like a crime scene photo from one of those tawdry old, true crime magazines.
  
• He only scratches it off in his sleep.
• Saw a Ribbon Snake in the yard while watering Wednesday. I tried to catch him to relocate him to some place safer-he failed to see the humor and bit at me ( he was too small to really get me) like a rabid Cobra.
• I have no idea how many times I've been bitten by snakes.
• Last weekend my house was full of life during a shower for a girl pregnant with twins-a boy and a girl. The boy died the other night in the womb. The mom said,"Save Zac for my girl, she'll need a good boy to protect her, he's beautiful and smart and I only hear good things about him.
• A boat of any real size laid up on dry land catches my interest, a huge ship fascinates me,wonder why?
• Justin Timberlakes solo stuff is amazing. I may gush over it partially because I'm surprised at just how good it is but, it's mostly because it is that awesome.
• Another prediction: 30 years from now he'll be constantly compared to Frank Sinatra.