EDGEFEST 2013 After Action Report

• I sold tickets to a scalper after trying to give them to nearly everybody I know.
• The lineup: Phoenix, Bush, Airbone Toxic Event, Fitz And The Tantrums, Gaslight Anthem, 21 Pilots, Atlas Genius, Capital Cities,  Youngblood Hawke, Kitten and IAMDYNAMITE
• It was great to hear so many bands I had wanted to see literally since I first heard them and in the case of Deftones and Bush that would have been 20 years ago.
• Parking was 20 bucks.
• There weren't as many freaks there as I would guessed- a few extreme piercings and one impressive punk Mohawk was about it.
• I don't drink, which is a good thing as beer was 9 bucks a can.
• A girl burned my arm with a cigarette. She was mortified- it really bothered her. She apologized again as we were leaving a merch line. Don't sweat it- try to find a new habit though- it will be better for both of us! 
• Gaslight Anthem was way good. I don't think I had heard them before. They were a little punk on some songs.
• She: What do you think they (Bush) will start with? I hope they close with Glycerine. Me: Well, if they don't open with Machinehead- they're wrong. I was right and she got her wish.
• There was too much time between bands. The temporary flooring was white and could fry your corneas with it's reflective glare. The wristband area for us VIPs could have been better managed to improve ingress and egress. I guess these are the only things I'll be adding to my list of  The Earths Serious Flaws.
• Also, I was for a time stuck behind Mr. Backpack- you know the guy, the one who is somehow oblivious to the 30 pound he is carrying and continually backs into you. What does he carry in there? He was drinking beers and water from the vendor. He didn't have camera gear in there. But even worse was when he decided to move behind me. His breath smelled like a possum had died in it four days prior.
• All things considered the restrooms were immaculate.
• I had to process a semen sample for the lab at work the other day to rule out testicular tuberculosis. I'm sorry, "immaculate" made me think of ejaculate. Ahem, let's get back on track shall we?
• The smell of weed was everywhere. It was everywhere for the entire 8 hours or whatever I was there. It was everywhere and it is illegal- not ill advised- it is unlawful and it was everywhere. It was everywhere and EDGEFEST wasn't some kind of 420 fest in Humboldt County. How can something that pervasive and accessible be illegal? It literally makes no sense.
• There were quite a few people messed up out of their minds drunk. They may have no recall of a great show today when they wake up (assuming they do).
• Gavin Rossdale came running down the center aisle working the crowd while singing. I put my hand out to high five him but he missed and my hand ran across his sweaty left pectoral. Yep ladies- I have touched the nipple of Bush's lead singer and Gwen Stefani's main man and you have not.
• A mid 30s woman was just nearly ready to throw down with a 16 year old girl over a spilled beer when said 16 year old came crashing down on the fuddy duddy while crowd surfing. Can you imagine an assault charge against a teenager and your defense is, She spilled my beer!
• Deftones were literally awful which is a shame since I have wanted to see them for 25+ years. I guess "awful" is a cruel overstatement. They just weren't as great as I thought they would be and I have listened to everything they have recorded. 
• Paramore rocked the house- holy smokes they were loud and good.
• BUSH covered Come Together and it was awesome. When they would sing the line, Come together right now over me. I would say Come together right now over Chelsea (friend-girls name). A girl standing near us turned to me and said, I heard that- that was cool. She then turned to FG pointed at me, high fived her and said, Way to go!
• I am being treated with affection and respect in a healthy way in a nice/safe environment and all that is being expected of me is to reciprocate- I have never experienced that before.
• I am unbelievably tired. Good night world wherever you are. I love you in spite of yourself. I'll put pics up tomorrow morning (04282013).