Hospice Thoughts: An Away Case

• Recent case I took against my better judgment was nearly two hours away. A very emotional case with that long drive= beating.




• I slept great after my first night though.




• Used Googlemaps and there must have been 20 points to navigate from- what a convoluted mess. Very pretty country drive though.




• Saw a large herd of zebras- only in Texas.




• Well, yes- also in Africa.




• HONK FOR JESUS sign at the cafe in one town which is named THE CAFE.




• The cafe, not the town.




• Like stepping back in time.



• Friday night in football season? An absolute ghost town- on a home game night I mean. Everybody is still in town but they're all at the stadium. I feel tingly when I look on the horizon and see the steam and dust rising under the lights. Memories are about to be made. Lifelong memories that will serve boys from this town particularly well. A little closer and I could hear the boom-crash of the band playing a fight song.




• Too many empty houses- some nice. Lots and lots of trailers. There are people who couldn't afford to live in their trailers. What did they do? Where did they go?




• Kids in yards in 45 degree weather playing without jackets. Not underprivileged- tough.




• Good BBQ.




• Very good BBQ.



• Tumultuous catfish, very, very good- all you can eat 8 bucks. "You doin' alright sugah? How about some tea? Oh, the catfish? You bet it's good, it's famous in these parts- you do know it's what's on the buffet right? You can save 2 dollars by having it on the buffet and you can have some nanner puddin' if you save some room sweety."



• Sold




• At the stores all the customers are pretty but, tough looking, older ranch wives stocking up for the week or meth addicts staggering around with baskets full of Dr Pepper and Moon Pies smiling at you through rotten teeth while looking at you with shame in their eyes.


• Lots and lots of overweight people. Everybody smokes- I see several people every day I'm there in the stores or cafes rolling an oxygen tank or hand carrying the new concentrators.


• They never got the memo.




• Wal Mart has found you, little town in the middle of nowhere.




• In Texas if you come upon a place that is isolated and seems to have an odd mix of crushing poverty and blushing wealth- you can bet the oil patch is hot.




• A big shot ranch is for sale. A longhorn bull with horns wider than my car drinks cool well water from a tank while eight of his cows eat grain from a trough.




• While they stand in knee high grass, green, thick beautiful grass.




• Got the the life.




• At the facility where my patient is I see a large group of sad people in the parking lot. The guys all wear hats and Carhart jackets. There's dually trucks and nice, newer cars but, nothing fancy. Everybody looks gray and utterly sad. I intuitively know of these people I'll make at least two lifelong friends- we may never see each other ever again but, we won't forget and would do anything for each other in the parlance of our culture.




• I know it's my family. There may be five or more people actively dying in this place but, I know these are my patients people. "Hey, how ya'll doin'?" I say intentionally authoritative, friendly and sympathetic and just as intentionally not too much of the three.




• Later, I would see the biggest, and saddest of them mother warmly smile at him, whisper something no one else heard but, I hope he understood in his ear, put her hand to his face and then roll her eyes back in her head, arch her back slightly, exhale real big and slip away forever.




• Yes, just like in the movies.