Blasphemy Was Never More Clever

"That picture of The Virgin Mary in a uterus is absolutely gorgeous." Comment from one of Barry's denizens circa 2009

Friday's Digressions

• I love the foibles of people who may be unAmerican but also happen to be fluent in English. Recently a friendly acquaintance was talking about a friend who happens to be able to grow things well. She attempted to use the expression green thumb. Instead, she reported her friend as having a, "good thumb..."
• Another person referred to her boring husband as being a, pickle bump...
• This morning  (05/13/2018) I thought about one of the last things FG said to me, "You are going to mess around and lose me and I am one of the best things that ever happened to you." As I was pondering that moment in time I heard this song by Paramore.
• We loved Paramore and saw them live at least once at EDGEFEST. 
• How to know you're getting old: while having lunch with somebody I asked about how long it had been since she went back to her country of birth. She replied, Not in a long time! Let me see... I guess I was 16 so... 9 years ago?! Was it a wakeup call that freaked me out a little and made me start thinking about hanging around women my own age? Nope. I didn't need a wake-up  call in that context- I was already thinking of a way to fix her up- with my son.
• This morning (12/06/2018) a reporter on Fox News mispronounced Ibuprofen as Ib-Profen. Odd.
• I watched television for the first time last night in well over a year. Verdict: a literally horrific time waste.

Wednesday's Digressions

Yeah that isn't creepy at all. A weird flashback: my dad was an aficionado of pulp fistion and softcore pron. He had stacks of trash paperbacks. The paper was of such poor quality that when we cleaned his stuff out of the garage years later the books would disintegrate in your hand. Fistion!? Yikes.

• Did I know Patrick Swayze wrote and sang She's Like The Wind?  I don't think I did. Why didn't you tell me? His wife was the inspiration according to my sources deep within Wikipedia. Theirs was by all reports an epic love story.
• Another connected thought- now that I think about it, I was always sure Christopher Cross sang that song.

  

  Ant lion (not his natural habitat).

• Pandas are really, really dumb from an evolutionary standpoint and are their own worst enemies. 
• Your new dream home is conveniently located in Muenster Texas and realistically priced for the discerning buyer...
• Nature- Animal Misfits- what I'm watching. It is absolutely fascinating and beautiful. It reminded me of of one of my favorite animals: the aye-aye.
• I  wonder if Jaguar the car maker has ever done anything to promote the protection of the animal jaguar? It would dumb to be guilty of that sin of omission if they have not.
• For some reason I am not shocked (nor offended) Steve Jobs never did any charitable work worth acknowledging. Really, I would have been shocked if he were a charitable person.

  

  A simpler happy time. She loved me more than I deserved and is maybe the only person I can say that about in my entire life. She is one of  only a couple I can confidently say loved me at all. The idea was to make her look like a feminine smiley face not an angry yellow version of Meatwad.  Anyway, she loved me. Amazing.

• Last night (10/24/2014) I had dinner with friends at Fuzzy's. During the course of the festivities my memory of something was doubted. Our friend said, Ah, I haven't ever heard of it and I've lived there all my life. Causing me to say, Well, shoot. Let me text Noel and see what he says. He was there and he is the only person I know in the world with a better memory than mine. Noel's response and the Googleizer resolved the controversy in my favor- of course. Also on the plate was a simmering fight between the other couple. They traded barbs, jokes, stories and threats to leave (or kick the other out), requests for sex when they got home and threats to withhold same with equal offhandedness.  She told stories about her boobies being the only good  thing she got out of her previous marriage and he would indicate it was the only good thing he was getting out of his present marriage. I swear every time he left the table I wondered if he was coming back and was mentally preparing myself to take his wife home. 
• Fuzzy's: Come for the tacos and borracho beans and stay for the white trash comedy.
• His wife and FG have declared their love for each other and intention to join the other team and forget about men altogether when we all walk away from each other.
• Jeff Buckley was singing Hallejuah as I did the dumb Paint GIF above.

Future Missives

Is it the wheelie bars or roll cage that attracts me more to this car?

It certainly isn't the chicks you would have to fend off with a stick

• A clerk in a convenience store I was in the other day had OZZY spelled out across the knuckles of his right hand.
• Fantasy sports is a 1.2 billion dollar enterprise and rapidly growing- how very odd.
• I just heard the neighbors screaming at each other. They do that a lot. That nearly has to escalate to physical violence- right?
• Relationship pro tip: If out of the blue your significant other starts using mints or gum, is never without it, oddly makes a big deal about it and as a bonus, she asks you to pick it up for her she is either drinking, smoking or screwing around on you (maybe all three). I think they ask you to pick some up for them just to be more awful but I'm not sure.

  

  1957 Ford- one of the ugliest trucks ever made. There are relatively few of them as nobody cared to keep them up and/or restore them through the years

• Recently the Pope defrocked 400 priests for sex abuse. My first thoughts: How incontrovertible must those cases have been? I mean my God- was there video evidence in all 400 cases?  Literally the tip of the iceberg. We'll never know the truth. The Catholic priesthood system is not only not Biblical, it is one designed to fail as it defies logic- literally all we know about human sexuality and interpersonal and societal relationships. You would not expect those dynamics to work in any situation outside of a religious context.
• A couple of days ago I inadvertently stumbled upon a page of reviews for my children's daycare as I looked up the phone number. All the reviews were negative and I can say with confidence they were all fake. On two of the concerns the truth is the place is very strong in those two supposed fail areas. Even if a person hated the place, if they were honest they would absolutely have to give them those. The claims were such egregious lies that I assume they were made by a rival daycare who obviously didn't know the inner workings of ours but wanted to play on parents worst fears.
• One of my offspring is outside playing. The other is on the couch with me watching some inane Disney show. FG is napping and as the above pics suggest I'm unsuccessfully looking for a new car.
• Today 01/18/2014 as I write this it is 1512 hours on a Saturday. I want to remind you I love you world wherever you are. I hope you and I are still around when this posts and all is as well as you could hope. Five years ago today things could have been better and that was all my fault. Things could have been worse and that is because of the grace of God and the goodness of people who love me more than I deserve.
• Signed Past Kevin
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Yesterday  (06/18/2017) morning I could not figure out why I kept spilling coffee on myself as I walked Mineral Wells Trailway.

I am a little slow on the uptake but interestingly,
 it was the cheapo to-go cup my breakfast place gave me. It was not leaking per say- I just could not be as cavalier about the warm beverage staying where it was supposed to be as I walked as I could with a McDonald's or Sonic cup.

A Sign?

As I absentmindedly shook this shave cream can to get it ready to help a patient shave I turned it over and saw this. What or who becomes eligible (and for what) on June 15, 2010? If it is some kind of sign- I don't want to have to wait that long- gimme, gimme! I bet June 14, 2010 is going to be one restless night wondering and worrying about the cosmic meanings behind all this. That, or I'll forget.