Monday's Missives

One of my favorite historical characters- Geronimo, driving a car on a ranch in Oklahoma. He indicated to the man in the headress to his left he liked his vest, so it was given to him that day. Geronimo would later be buried in it. From his 1905 autobiography: "As to the future state, the teachings of our tribe were not specific, that is, we had no definite idea of our relations and surroundings in after life. We believed that there is a life after this one, but no one ever told me as to what part of man lived after death ... We held that the discharge of one's duty would make his future life more pleasant, but whether that future life was worse than this life or better, we did not know, and no one was able to tell us. We hoped that in the future life, family and tribal relations would be resumed. In a way we believed this, but we did not know it."


He was an intellectually curious, complex and maybe conflicted man who enjoyed a life of peace growing crops while raising his family about as much as he relished a life of violence against his enemies. He knew what he knew- and admitted where he wasn't sure of things.


I think we would have gotten along.

• I noticed a phenomenally ugly couple this morning at breakfast who had two very cute looking children.







• The mom gave the dad her pancakes- not by having him pick them up or transferring them to his plate with her knife and fork. She did so by picking them up with her hand and placing them on his plate. Then with a flourish, she patted them with her hand.







• Gross.







• People I interact with who are hard of hearing get excited when I show them my hearing aids.







• Another loosely associated thought: why does everyone assume elderly people are hard of hearing- especially when they're dying? I see even experienced nurses just scream at patients. It seems very odd.







• Another elder related thought: be gentle when shaking the hand of an older person- if they have arthritis (which most will to some degree) you can hurt them. Not only will it of course be good to just not hurt them, it sets a good tone for your relationship. They will associate you with gentleness and thoughtfulness, not pain.







• The cool weather is great, but we need rain- lots of it.







• He's with the band. They have a show in Dallas, will be out late. Will ask him in the morning.







• The last text I received which was in regard to my eldest son.







• I used to be able to play taps very well on a trumpet even though it wasn't my instrument. My lifelong friend who was probably the best trumpet player in our school band taught me.







• At a UIL competition we played the theme from Rocky- when it was very fresh in our pop. culture.







• My, how time flies.







• Tempest fugit.

Raising Zachary

Dad, she has a tattoo on her butt! How gross- huh!?

What he said of the girl's tramp stamp who worked in the shop where he got his hair cut today.

Saturday's Situation

• I keep bumping into an Australian guy that lives here in town. One morning while I was helping my neighbor start her car he stopped to assist, another time I saw him in a parking lot helping an elderly man start his car and another time he held the door for some women walking ahead of me into a store.






• That is one helpful Australian.






• OK let me get pretty: the last text message I received.






• It's rare stress gets to me. My motto is if you can do something about the situation- then do it, if not- why worry about it? For some reason though, I'm stressed out waiting to hear if I'm going to get a job I've applied for that I am seriously wanting.






• Stressed. Out.






• My buddies wife was an English Lit. teacher at one time. It doesn't matter how arcane the rule is you ask her about or how off the cuff your presentation of the question is, she can nail the rule and instantly tell if she went over your head and distill it down for you.






• Pervert.

Friday's Dispatch

• Don't feel so bad- it could be worse. I'm in new employee orientation- Death. By. Powerpoint. I think time has stopped. Really- I think I'm losing my mind. I can hear the clock ticking- and it's digital. It's like getting paid to be in jail.





• The last text message I sent.





• What's the max reasonable age difference between people in a couple that would probably work?





• Someone I was friends with growing up is more or less famous in Texas. It makes me wonder how he'd treat me if we met up and if I'd be awed or jealous or OK.





• A cop told me an interminably long story today designed to prove his coolness and manliness.





• I get it dude- with a great mustache, comes great responsibility.





• Restless tonight, because I wasted the light. Between those times I drew a really thin line. but you should be mine across that line. If I traded it all. If I gave it all away for one thing, wouldn't that be something...

A British Soldier Gets

shot in the face in Afghanistan

Wednesday's Digressions

• Life is a waterfall. We drink from the river then we turn around and put up a wall.





• Coldplay might be breaking up. They say nobody wants to listen to them anymore. They get it- their terribleness is terrible. I really never got their fame. The one or two songs they had that were good, were yeah- pretty good, but that shouldn't have overcome the awfulness inertia created by the other sixty songs they did.





• Katy wrote an interesting and funny post on why she's against gay marriage. People were worried about recrimination against people when DADT ended. I think people on both sides of that debate were disappointed when no awfulness resulted. I promise you- nobody cared. The same folks who didn't realize how much they thrived on the secrecy they had to employ previously will be a little more out there for a while to get the charge they didn't know they needed and yes- gay folks will enlist in somewhat higher percentages for a while, but I don't think it will be end of the military.





• I had forgotten System of a Down did Aerials until I came across it last night.





• I have owned a printer now for over a year that hasn't been out of the box. It was part of a bundled deal and I really thought it would see some use.





• Well, OK it does see some use- as a drawing table for Zachary.





• The Neverending Pasta Bowl promotion has ended at Olive Garden.





• Yes-Kevin wept.





• An acquaintance's boyfriend told her it was, "That extra weight you're carrying around." when she mentioned her back was bothering her.





• Brother, I don't believe I would have said that.

Let's Go To Sleep

listening to Ronnie Hawkins and The Band performing Who Do You Love? live during their last performance with the original line up. I did late clinic tonight. I are a tired boy. Good night world- wherever you are.

Raising Zachary

Do they let those people sleep here at night!?

What he said after seeing the fourth or fith person in Wal Mart wearing lounge pants or straight up pajamas.

Mondays Missives

• A childhood best friend achieved schoolyard notoriety for being pushed backwards over a wall, doing a backflip in mid air and after falling 8 or more feet- landing upright on his feet. He looked surprised as the rest of us. He didn't so much as sprain an ankle.






• He died in a horrible car wreck in his twenties.






• I love black olives, but never, ever buy them or order them on food.






• My eldest took his six hour driving school today through Sears. I was impressed by how impressed he seemed to be at the amount of useful information he learned.






• It doesn't look like it will rain tonight- or ever again.




• The snake we saw at Holland's Lake and I couldn't ID was a Plains blackhead. They are tiny even fully grown, secretive and only lay 2-3 eggs a season so we were lucky to see it.






• Oh, so this is what it's like when when worlds collide.

I'm Sitting

on the porch writing this, while listening to this and Zac is playing in the sand with his shovel and a plastic tube. He fills the tube with sand, dumps it out then repeats.

War

is still not a beautiful thing and plastic land mines are still the devil.

Friday's Dispatch

• Zachary is after me to take him fishing. The Kid Fish thing is going on at Holland's Lake. I'm just not in the mood to get an eye taken out by one of a thousand flailing kids around that tiny lake/pond.






• I've more or less accepted the fact I may never get a good nights sleep again. In the mornings I can awaken feeling worse than when I went to bed- literally miserable, but can sit in the chair after getting ready for work, nod off for a few minutes and then be OK.






• Recently I read The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Presents Earth (The Book) A Visitor's Guide To The Human Race. Not great, but it had it's moments.






• What a long winded title though- amiright?






• The rotator cuff is bothering me again. Man. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Go. Through. Surgery.






• So, I guess it isn't bothering me that bad.






• I like the corner pieces of cakes and the end pieces of meatloaf.






• Bill Withers Ain't No Sunshine

Charles Manson

Singer, songwriter and all around monster Charles Manson with the greatest interview response ever.

Wednesday's Digressions

• Weird things about me: my right thigh midway between my knee and hip has a spot that occasionally burns for no good reason. Although, there's no redness or anything visible at all, the webbing between the index finger and middle finger of my right hand has itched like mad on and off for years. I smell just about everything I have a reason to inspect. The smell of Hawaiian Tropic tanning oil makes me crazy like nothing else in this world. Although I don't like being around a truly foul mouthed woman, hearing one drop two specific curse words can do the same.


• Also, if I drink out of a Styrofoam cup it makes my teeth hurt- really just thinking about it is bothersome.


• I zonked out early since I work late clinic tomorrow, well- make that tonight. Now I'm up at 1 in the morning. I've said it before, but- I'm something of a genius that way.


• A safer place to live I cannot imagine, but it was kind of alarming to just now notice that the front door has been unlocked all night.


• For someone who genuinely enjoys the company of other people I do surprisingly well alone, especially considering how long I was married.


• I was a good husband.


• Man, a Mr. Pibb sounds good right now.


• People seem to get me wrong a lot.


• Laura Hillenbrand's Unbroken- what I'm reading.


• I wish you were coming back. I really, really enjoyed talking to you and getting to know you. Come back if you can. What my last hospice patient's 96 year old husband said.


• Brian Jonestown Massacre Anemone.

Our Little Place For Peace In The Outdoors

Hot but, happy. Seems a long time ago. Neither of us could have guessed the turns life would take in the couple of years since this picture was taken. Simple times. I'm glad I did have an appreciation for those days and tried to live each of them that way. I thank God for you Zachary.

Monday's Missives

• Underworld Born Slippy NUXX







• I've never put a bumper sticker on a vehicle nor used the word genre in a sentence.







• Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever heard in my life: A friend of someone I know and his wife after years of trying had a baby. When the boy was four he and his father were walking in a parking lot hand in hand. A driver wasn't paying attention and swung wide in into the lot and run over the child killing him instantly. One second hand in hand- the next gone forever.







• Zachary and I ate Schlotzkie's at Holland Lake Park. He ate more of my Sour Cream And Onion chips than I did. We saw a baby snake- I'm not sure what kind it was, which is unusual.







• A neighbor has an old full size Blazer with those bars instead of doors. The stray cat that hangs around slips under them and sleeps in it at night. I can't wait until they discover each other some sleepy morning.







• The thought of suing somebody has seriously crossed my mind only once that I recall (should have done it) and I really think the overuse of lawsuits is one of the ugly things about our society. However, I'm afraid if anyone ever smashed into me while texting- the next place they'd see me would be court.





• Here, look at two camels in bad moods because they're in an uncool car.

A Perfect Day

Is winding down. Zachary caught two fish today bringing his life count to ten. I caught none- confirming my life history of loserness. The Beemer had a flat leaving the lake. The laundry is almost done. Baconator- it's what was for dinner. I'm so tired I can't see straight.

Letters To Cleo cover of I want You To Want Me is very passable and is a good way to end a day so watch it and think of me.

Good night world- wherever you are.

War

is a beautiful thing. I'm lying- it's disgusting. Scroll to the bottom of the linked page for video proof.

Saturday's Situation

• Rain Parade No Easy Way Down



• One of the reasons I started this blob was to direct folks to it whom I want to get to know. It has falied to work more often than not. People have seen themselves in stories that had nothing to do with them. Others have assumed too many wrong things based on what they read (and wouldn't be swayed). Still others have incorrectly remembered shared experiences that I've related here.



• I may start again, but I never direct anybody here.



• It's just me and you baby- me and you.

I'm Flexing

not my biceps- I worked a little overtime this week so I'm off. You? So sad- so bad, if you're still working.
I really like this song AWOLNATION Sail I'm going to listen to it and then take a short nap. Then, Zachary is coming over and we'll walk to Olive Garden and destroy ourselves with pasta.
Tomorrow, I'll work on my eldest's truck with him, which is pretty much my idea of heaven on earth.

Friday's Dispatch

• Most women dig some hip hop, dance mix and all like Nelly Furtado. It's not cause for a negative judgement of them as it might be in a guy- it's just a by-product of their estrogen production.






• It's stopped raining. I'm tempted to go to Mineral Wells State Park, renew our annual pass, do some exploring and maybe even fish a little.






• Cradle Of Filth is a cool band name.






• Some drunk guy staggered over to us while we were standing at the lake yesterday and wanted Zac and I to fish, offering his rod and bait. I let Zac try a few minutes then we split. Interestingly, he used biscuit dough as bait.






• What if biscuit dough could scream? Would we be so cavalier about sticking a hook through it?






• I always miss the second e in interestingly.






• Except for that time.






• Although I did misspell time as tiome on that go round..






• Zac and I just filmed the inside of our mouths while we ate Pop Rocks. Watch for the upcoming Youchoobs vid.

Raising Zachary

If a lollipop and a sucker are the same thing- why don't they both start with L?

Wednesday's Digressions

• She is a pretty girl Kevin! What somebody said recently about an ex.




• What were you expecting?




• I'm sorry, but when one of my children is involved in a fight, it's important to me to figure out who won (even though I don't really care which one it was).




• Zac stayed with me last night. I slept terribly. Really, I was literally tireder when I got up than when I went to bed.




• According to spell check Zac is not a word and tireder is- surprising.




• To me, still one of the weirder things I face in this life- being asked about my love life by an adult niece.




• Mazzy Star Fade Into You Live in 1994.




• Have a great day.

Tuesday's Thoughts

You know it's bad- when the movie poster can't make it look less awful than this.

• I awoke the other morning with a book over my face and turned to see Zac with one still in his hand. I don't know if it gets any better than that.








• A plan for anybody in uncertain times: Get your nursing degree, then accept a commission in the US Army. The Army will pay your loans off. Stay in for 20, retire a major (easy), Lt Colonel or Colonel and work when you want, where you want part time for the rest of your life and enjoy yourself. As a bonus- marry someone with similar ideals. You'll have more disposable income and freedom than the average so called millionaire.








• I could go without an alarm clock at my present job and probably never worry. At around 0530 every morning my eyes open regardless.








• A very hot patient (whose new patient interview I'd conducted) said when she came in to see the doctor,"Kevin don't make me wait forever." and winked at me. Of course, the goofball did it so two other nurses, and a front desk girl heard her. They took turns hamming it up. "Kevvvvin don't make me waiiiit! "No" another would say," You have to be more sultry and breathless, "Oh Kevvvvin, you make me hotttt. Don't make wait for yoooou!" while swinging their rear ends around with their hand on their hips and pooching their lips out.








• Women are the devil.








• I could live on Taco Cabana for breakfast and Olive Garden for dinner.








• Memories Of Dying Days cover Pantera's Domination I'm proud to know you- keep it up.

Monday's Missives

• Zac is going to make a cake today. He can do 90% of the work himself.




• He can also send text messages.




• Athough- no, he cannot write yet.




• Last night, I held the dog tag worn by a World War I soldier who fought in an infantry engineer unit. It is nearly one hundred years old.




• Recently, I looked through some issues of Texas Fish And Game. The amount of grammatical errors, missing words and confusing sentences were impressive.




• Most armies (including ours) use snipers in small teams to augment larger units. My guess is it would be very much worth trying the opposite concept- have a battalion size unit of snipers to say, a brigade. Of course it wouldn't be every brigade- just enough to task organize in operations (if the idea worked at all). They could be cross attached to other units for ops, but would return to train in an environment where their time would be properly utilized. In large urban battles fighting as a battalion they would mutually support each other in elements down to team level and overwhelm the enemy and provide very thorough surveillance. Basically, the infantry and armor would support the sniper battalion- the enemy would literally not know where to move without dying and couldn't make a move without it being observed. This also might keep fewer civilians from getting hurt and their stuff broken as well.




• Sometimes I think too much on those long, quiet night shifts.




• Breakfast this morning was a chorizo, egg, potato and cheese burrito with cilantro and pico.




• Wish you were there- it was tumultuous.




• Gary Wright Love Is Alive on Midinght Special.

Say It Ain't So...

Mikey Welsh, former Weezer bassist found dead in a Chicago hotel room. Narcotics are suspected.
The suspected statement is kind of a given when 40 year old musicians are found dead in hotel rooms and is a presumption at any rate in this case, but that's what the news keeps repeating.

Sunday's Summary

Abe Lincoln, the true father of our country, wearer of outlandish hats, rider of attack grizzlies, bearer of assault weapons and dramatic looking documents.





• Zac loves the documentary Victorian Farm Christmas. In this very interesting doc. 3 people (1 woman 2 men) work a Victorian era farm in Scotland to prepare for Christmas day. It is very well done and educational, but I oddly had trouble getting past the woman kneading bread dough and preparing other foods with her visibly filthy hands and nails.






• We just got back from playing at Holland's Lake Park in the rain. The porch and dog run of the double log cabin is nice shelter.






• They out did themselves at Baker's Ribs today- sooooo good.






• My joints have been hurting for 3 days. I could barely walk at the end of the day yesterday.






• At my patients house last night I watched a marathon of The Rifleman starting from episode one. I had forgotten, or never considered before what a well developed story it is. I'm buying a set as soon as possible.






• It was obviously going to pour rain today- I washed my car this morning.

Saturday's Situation

• Zachary and I both pumped about the cooler weather and the camping it will bring. I think we're going to try hammocks with a tarp over us before it gets too cold.


• I woke up early this morning and went out to the lake to watch the sunrise.


• A few days ago I woke up with an old hospice patient on my mind. At breakfast, in my change I received a dollar bill that had the very unique nickname of that patients primary care provider written across the front. Is that some sort of God thing I'm supposed to do something with or a million to one coincidence?


• I am not sure what Salisbury steak is exactly, but my mom could make the best in the world.


• Cardboard Warfare

Friday's Dispatch

I started to say, I hate to think how many hours of my life I've spent looking at our moon, but I don't begrudge any of them. I love it. It's amazing.

• Sonny Boy Al Jolson







• Although it doesn't happen a lot, I've been asked quite a few times if I'm Catholic (and was today). I've got an idea why this happens, but I'm not sure.







• Recently, at a lunch table among about 8 nurses I was the lone boy. The talk turned to dreamy actors. Most were quite hot for Brad Pitt, but all thought Matt Damon had aged and matured remarkably well. "Kevin, who do you like? Who does it for you? one asked. Well, Brad Pitt is dreamy... No- really. Well, I just got out of a relationship, so I haven't thought about that in a while. I replied. You can still look and dream... No, my mind doesn't work that way- really, I didn't even look at anyone else..."







• Yes, there were, Ooooh, how sweets all around.







• I'm such a snot.







• One of my public health patients was recently robbed. He has multiple disabilities. God, how awful. I was tempted to give him some money, but did not. That is one slippery slope, but that money would have meant way more to him than me.





• Funny: an old hospice patient of mine got better and is now often pushed in her wheelchair to her neighborhood bar.





• I'm losing my touch.

Thursday's Thoughts

God, bless all those responsible for bringing high angle Hell on our enemies.








• American convoys attacked for profit in Pakistan



• The Lee Greenwood song that was used during the Gulf War and later during countless Hurray For Us! days? The average American warfighter hates that song with a passion. I cannot tell you how many times I've been in a formation and on seeing one of the CO's gofers head for a CD player I've heard the guy next to me mutter under his breath,"God, please don't let it be Lee Greenwood- pleeeeease." There might be a redneck type here and there who doesn't get how cheesy it is, but by and large it is tolerated by necessity- not loved by the troops as I believe folks assume.



• I saw a video recently of a woman giving her 8 year old daughter Botox injections to treat wrinkles prior to one of those imbecilic pageants. Tell me- please, it's not legal for her to do that to that poor child.



• Chevrolet has come out with a Camaro they call the ZL1. It makes 580 horsepower.



• Santa, I've been a good boy this year...



• Til Tuesday Voices carry

Wednesday's Digressions

• I used to work with a woman who was afraid of the paper circles left behind by a hole puncher. Literally afraid- as in screaming, "Get it off me!" while flailing around like a crazy person if one got on her clothing afraid.




• You could do things that are a lot worse for your health if you started and ended every day with a large glass of water.




• When I was in basic training there was a guy with us from Alaska that masturbated in his bunk every night.




• I am hungry.




• The other day I didn't have enough shave cream to do my head, face and upper lip so I left the 'stache zone unshaven. A friends teen daughter on seeing me 12 hours later said,"Eeew, what were you thinking? That. Looks. pervy!"




• Avril Fall To Pieces

Just Tuesday

My self portrait. So, what's up? I'm just hanging out- looking totally normal. You?





• Seether Country Song




• Seether and Chevelle- doubt I'll ever tire of them and yes, you'll know the worm has definitely turned for me when they play my birthday party.




• Last night I crashed early since I'll leave day job and go to night job tonight. Now I'm awake an hour before I normally get up and have already been awake an hour and a half.




• I'm a genius that way.




• I predict a long day.




• It would be cool to live in or near downtown Fort Worth. If I was rich I'd restore one of the old shops or industrial buildings to live in.




• Texas Chicken And Seafood on Rosedale is good and cheap, but not fast. They cook everything while you wait. They have a monstrous catfish combo for 7 bucks that will easily feed two people.




• Yesterday though, the one I bought fed only one. I was miserable for hours and I'm still not hungry.




• Bosnians pronounce Rosedale, Rosa-day-lah.




• Bosnians, Liberians, Ugandans and Mexicans are among my favorite un-Americans.




• The last ghost shrimp was eaten. Maybe the fish need to be fed more.




• Yeah, I guess so- they are totally staring at me.

You May Believe

that a disproportionate number of blacks were killed
in the Vietnam War.


Fact: 86% of the men who died in Vietnam were Caucasians, 12.5% were black,
1.2% were other races. Sociologists Charles C. Moskos and John Sibley
Butler, in their recently published book "All That We Can Be," said they
analyzed the claim that blacks were used like cannon fodder during Vietnam
"and can report definitely that this charge is untrue. Black fatalities
amounted to 12 percent of all Americans killed in Southeast Asia a
figure proportional to the number of blacks in the U.S. population at the
time and slightly lower than the proportion of blacks in the Army at the
close of the war."

Monday's Missives

• For the life of me I cannot understand why some people have to prattle on about past relationships while in a relationship. I get it, for certain things- especially life changing things that may shape the way a person presently acts, but come on.








• How to know you've told one too many dumb, old boyfriend stories while you're with me: I'll say something like, Can you tell another old boyfriend story? I really like those. Make it seem so endless- even you forget where you were heading with it and my eyes glaze over and I pray God kills me with a stroke. I mean, I really like those- they're my favorite.








• Zac requested Olive Garden for dinner the other night.






• Ice cream truck drivers always have a reputation for being way creepier than they probably are. I think we've all seen too many movies.






• But clowns- creepy.








• A minor quandary: I've got a bad feeling about a friends teenage daughter. I think she's up to no good, but have no hard evidence except for seeing her out of place somewhere and my womens intuition. If I was even nearly sure- it wouldn't be a quandary, but how do you tell somebody, I've got a bad feeling... even if your instincts are correct about 95% of the time?








• Worst song and worst music video in the history of music and music videos

Sunday's Summary

• Libertines Don't Look Back Into The Sun




• Watched a couple episodes of Campus, a British comedy last night. The stories revolve around a bunch of dysfunctional people on a college campus. It's like Community with British accents and pop references an American won't always get.




• Why do the Brits always have to steal our comedy show ideas?




• It was kind of raunchy, but funny.




• Rode my bike around the block yesterday. This morning I could barely get out of bed.




• Repair bill for my car 511.00, paycheck from my very part time job 500.00. Yes, I'm thankful for the fact working those hours one weekend took care of nearly the whole bill, but it's tempting to say, "I gave up part of my weekend and didn't see Zac- for nothing."




• I like a lot of Pete Doherty's music and his stuff with The Libertines and Babyshambles, but I'm always surprised when I find out he's still alive.

Saturday's Situation

• If you were wondering why the earth got so quiet and everyone seemed on the edge of their seat a few minutes ago, it was probably because of this headline: Toby Keith weighs in on gay marriage and the military.




• Things clicked on the new job yesterday- I'll be fine. The only thing worse though than having to learn a new electronic medical record program? Try being in an organization that is still between the switch to full EMR and paper records.




• Weatherford, for a city that has always been largely insulated from economic woes because of being a medical hub, proximity to Lockheed, Fort Worth in general and a few other factors has way too much vacant commercial property. I mean way too much- with many buildings never occupied. The signs will read, For Lease! then, For Sale! then, Price Reduced!!...




• When you take a kid to feed the ducks make sure there's enough for the ducks and the kid. None of my children have ever been able to resist. Although, last time I could not blame Zac- I brought rolls and cornbread from Paris Cafe.




• In a meeting the other day a woman divided her time about equally between scooping wax out of her ears and cleaning said wax from under her fingernails.




• It was mesmerizing. I'm still not sure what that meeting was about.




• My last hospice patient made it 15 days without a drop to drink or a bite to eat.




• I'm not sure of the answer, but would be very curious to know how the average hospice nurse faces their impending death.