Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I Sense Some Issues

ʇɹnɥ ɹǝʌǝu

ʇsoן ɹǝʌǝu

pǝʌoן ɹǝʌǝu

pǝʌıן ɹǝʌǝu

ʇɟǝן ɹǝʌǝu

pǝıן ɹǝʌǝu

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Hand Grenadeaphilic Missives

I love throwing hand grenades- there is nothing, really nothing quite like it in the world. The power to destroy right there in the palm of your hand. To destroy life and property- both your own and the enemy. Nothing in the world can make you focus quite like you do at the point you first pull the safety ring- literally, you don't think of anything else- you can't. One wrong move and you're a goner and you know it. You can theoretically flex the safety lever enough to fire the fuse and that 5-7 second countdown before it goes boom starts. A bad aim or your foot slips when you chunk it and it hits something and rolls back and stops between you legs (think of a boomerang- that blows your testicles off). If you don't cook it off for a couple of seconds the odds increase exponentially one of the bad guys will throw it back at you and this happens all the time and has since the things were invented. Then it will hurt you and break your stuff- they have no conscience. Cook it off too long and you become a cautionary tale- the subject of safety briefings at grenade ranges all across the fruited plain and beyond. Don't let this happen to you the instructor says while everybody in the class rolls their eyes and mouths Gooberhead! (or worse) to their buddy sitting next to them.

Mythbusters also digs things that go boom.

Grenade launchers can be a thing of beauty.

More here.

Who can forget The Holy Grenade?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Next Blog Foray


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Craigslist Craziness

Date: 2008-10-21, 8:29PM CDT
This is weird... I saw you at the park the other day- you know, the one by the school? You were over by that tree taking a leak and I thought that your coat looked GORGEOUS!! I wanted to sniff your rear end and ask if you use liver oil or fish oil supplements but then a bird distracted me (dunno- I think it was a crow) and I ran off. When I came back you were kinda busy eating some poop. Please please please lemme know...
Location: DALLAS
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Monday, March 8, 2010

Monday's Missives

2012: the clock ticks and the bell tolls- for whom does the bell toll? I tolls for you...

  • I was walking a main road this morning and it nearly cost me my precious life. On that road there is hardly no shoulder so I walked against traffic and as a vehicle got closer I would step well away from the road- to save their paint job and my pretty face. While looking ahead I saw a truck leave the road making a shower of grass and then gravel from the soft shoulder as it returned to the road and then it proceeded toward me while I judiciously moved well away and stopped to watch the truck as it passed. A diabetic episode? anaphylactic shock from a bee sting? Surprised by the kidnapper who suddenly appeared in her rear view mirror? No, no and no. She was texting and still did not see me as I stood there. Insane- we are absolutely crazy.
  • I mean really. Holy smokes, what is wrong with us?

  • When I get relieved by the nurse on next shift while we're caring for a patient in the nursing home they sometimes get their feelings hurt when they see an empty breakfast tray in the room. They'll ask with genuine surprise,"Did he eat all that? I didn't think he was responsive enough to eat at all- that's good!" I'll have to innocently say,"No, it was mine- the charge nurse (or nurses aide) brought it to me." They will look hurt-absolutely smashed and say something to the effect,"Are you kidding? I have been coming here for weeks and they never do that for me."

  • Sorry.

  • My last patient loved football. Man, I watched more football in the 5 or 6 days I cared for him than in my whole life.

  • When I hit enter between bullets on here sometimes the post publishes instead of dropping down to the next line.
  • I initially spelled that, "drooping".

  • It's very rare for me to recommend someone to my company for consideration to a position.

  • I'm generally very reluctant to divulge my only real phobia-ish thing about myself but, here it goes: when I use a disposable lighter to light a fire I have a vague feeling in the back of my mind it's going to explode and blow my hand off and this is so true I sometimes unconsciously use my non dominant hand to light the fire.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hospice Thoughts: An Away Case

  • Recent case I took against my better judgment was nearly two hours away. A very emotional case with that long drive= beating.

  • I slept great after my first night though.

  • Used Googlemaps and there must have been 20 points to navigate from- what a convoluted mess. Very pretty country drive though.

  • Saw a large herd of zebras- only in Texas.

  • Well, yes- also in Africa.

  • HONK FOR JESUS sign at the cafe in one town which is named THE CAFE.

  • The cafe, not the town.

  • Like stepping back in time.

  • Friday night in football season? An absolute ghost town- on a home game night I mean. Everybody is still in town but they're all at the stadium. I feel tingly when I look on the horizon and see the steam and dust rising under the lights. Memories are about to be made. Lifelong memories that will serve boys from this town particularly well. A little closer and I could hear the boom-crash of the band playing a fight song.

  • Too many empty houses- some nice. Lots and lots of trailers. There are people who couldn't afford to live in their trailers. What did they do? Where did they go?

  • Kids in yards in 45 degree weather playing without jackets. Not underprivileged- tough.

  • Good BBQ.

  • Very good BBQ.

  • Tumultuous catfish, very, very good- all you can eat 8 bucks. "You doin' alright sugah? How about some tea? Oh, the catfish? You bet it's good, it's famous in these parts- you do know it's what's on the buffet right? You can save 2 dollars by having it on the buffet and you can have some nanner puddin' if you save some room sweety."

  • Sold

  • At the stores all the customers are pretty but, tough looking, older ranch wives stocking up for the week or meth addicts staggering around with baskets full of Dr Pepper and Moon Pies smiling at you through rotten teeth while looking at you with shame in their eyes.

  • Lots and lots of overweight people. Everybody smokes- I see several people every day I'm there in the stores or cafes rolling an oxygen tank or hand carrying the new concentrators.

  • They never got the memo.

  • Wal Mart has found you, little town in the middle of nowhere.

  • In Texas if you come upon a place that is isolated and seems to have an odd mix of crushing poverty and blushing wealth- you can bet the oil patch is hot.

  • A big shot ranch is for sale. A longhorn bull with horns wider than my car drinks cool well water from a tank while eight of his cows eat grain from a trough.

  • While they stand in knee high grass, green, thick beautiful grass.

  • Got the the life.

  • At the facility where my patient is I see a large group of sad people in the parking lot. The guys all wear hats and Carhart jackets. There's dually trucks and nice, newer cars but, nothing fancy. Everybody looks gray and utterly sad. I intuitively know of these people I'll make at least two lifelong friends- we may never see each other ever again but, we won't forget and would do anything for each other in the parlance of our culture.

  • I know it's my family. There may be five or more people actively dying in this place but, I know these are my patients people. "Hey, how ya'll doin'?" I say intentionally authoritative, friendly and sympathetic and just as intentionally not too much of the three.

  • Later, I would see the biggest, and saddest of them mother warmly smile at him, whisper something no one else heard but, I hope he understood in his ear, put her hand to his face and then roll her eyes back in her head, arch her back slightly, exhale real big and slip away forever.

  • Yes, just like in the movies.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wednesday's Digressions

Me some day- a grumpy old toad that had to turn his back on a cold cruel world... Mr. Toad overlooks his domain in the front flower bed.

  • Hope And Glory- what a great funny, funny film about the life of an 10 year old boy and how he sees the world during the blitz in London.

  • Finished the Krakuerer bio on Pat Tillman Where Men Win Glory and as inspirational as it could be it's also very disturbing. I knew there was some problems with how the reporting and investigation of his death was handled- I simply had no idea the level of deceit that went to the highest levels of our government. Simply put: they guaranteed a public relations disaster by trying to micromanage perception and prevent a PR disaster. The one thing that really jumped out at me? They attempted to use that man from start to finish and while he was an infantryman assigned to a Ranger Batt. in the most dangerous places in the world they never seemed to asked the question from the start: Um, what will we do if the guy gets killed?

  • Zac could watch Bee Movie on a continuous loop on a rainy day and be happy as a clam.

  • Well, maybe break it up with Barney Songs occasionally.

  • I don't link to and hardly ever read some of my favorite blogs.

  • While we are sleeping- war between Israel and Syria is essentially inevitable at this point and will likely come in just a few months. Israels air force is at 60% full alert (very, very significant in case you didn't know) and Syria has their hyperbole generators set to max power.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Another Famous Texan

Born in Dallas TX in 1978 she was perhaps best known for her role in Baywatch though she may have become a professional ballerina except for the torn ACl incurred while skiing at age fifteen which led to her modelling career.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Monday's Missives

  • Take a ride down main street of my hometown. Fittingly, in a truck and set to country music. Oddly, posted by a Polish? speaker.

  • Bonus: more hats and bulls than you'll ever care to see- agin in Weatherford TX.

  • The Universal History Of Numbers From Prehistory To The Invention Of The Computer.

  • What I'm reading now- yes, fascinating. One thing that really jumped out at that I intuitively knew, but had never seen in print: humans the world over- primitive and advanced have a limited ability to grasp at a glance groups of more than four. This is why ancient cultures up to present day use the 4 vertical marks with the diagonal slash to count groups of 5 in everything from card games to body counts and it isn't just an arbitrary, convenient way of simplifying a count- it actually stems from a hard wired limitation.

  • Saw the butcher and a woman from our local grocery store headed out for some parking lot romance yesterday. How could I possibly know that you ask? We'll I just know things, but, she was walking out ahead of him a couple of feet her head down looking slightly embarrassed, but still grinning and he was trying to look nonchalant , but at the same time had to look at me with an oh yeah- I'm about to hit that look on his face.

Monday's Missives

  • I woke up in the middle of the night after a tiresome night shift the night before and on joost.com was running an animated movie titled Queer Duck. The first two characters were Bi Polar Bear and Oscar Wildcat. The first two lines to the theme song were, "He's intellectual, he's homosexual..."

  • I know - what did I think it was going to be about?

  • Would be remiss if I didn't mention the cleverly named- Openly Gator though.

  • One day I moved a desk in my house and behind it found a billfold I remembered losing several years before just after getting it for Christmas. My first thought was, Cool, I need a billfold mine is worn out. My second was, I don't remember there being, 10,20,40... there is nearly a 100 bucks in there! Woo-hoo!

  • Oho and hobo are both offered as alternatives to hoo.

  • What in the world is an Oho?

  • Do you go through periods of good luck and others where you can't get a break for anything? I know it's probably just perception but, a certain amount of simple odds could play into it also. There are long stretches of time where I, it seem can do no wrong- then others where if things can go wrong- they will absolutely every time and cream my life.

  • I noticed some pictures again of my children's great grandmother and grandfather. He is standing on a horses back (common photo theme back in 50s and 60s- movie or book influence?) and she is standing in the surf of some ocean about up to her knees in water. He looked so tough, confident and handsome. She was (and it's weird to say this) looking smokin' hot but, also she seemed very thoughtful. He is dead now after spending 20 plus years with his second wife after the wife in the picture left him for somebody else- who is now dead. She is a humped back old lady who reads the Star Telegram obits from start to finish and watches tabloid television shows.